Is my best friend paranoid or psychopathic? Hurt & Worried sick. Help!?

Question

THE SETUP

I've got this friend, "Ashley", my best friend. She's awesome, but arrogant as hell. She thinks herself superior to everyone, and swears she can get whatever girl she sets her eyes on.

So I've been totally in love with her for the last 5 years. We dated at first, only a little while, but I stayed hooked. We're best friends now. We work together.

Soooooo, about a year ago, to my dismay, Ashley fell in love with this other girl, "Britney", an acquaintance of mine.

THE PARANOIA?

Now... Is this normal? According to Ashley, it was a Facebook/Messenger relationship. A used my messenger and facebook accounts to keep in touch with her. When Britney would change her messenger status, Ashley would swear it was a message to her. When, on Facebook, friends of Britney posted status messages with love songs, Ashley would swear they were posting them on Britney's behalf as a message to her.

And sooo she lived every day glued to Messenger and Facebook, interpreting convoluted messages out of every little thing that happened. So she was, apparently, having a truly romantic relationship with Britney. However, in real life, when we went to parties with B's friends, Britney always seemed uncomfortable, and the few times they talked, in person or over the phone, Britney openly rejected her. When Ashley sent her flowers, chocolates, mariachis, B rejected them all, clearly and fiercely.

So there was this situation, in which, according to Ashley, Britney was being like, totally in love, super romantic and sending her secret love messages through all her friends and her friends' friends to her via me. But in real life, Britney plainly rejected her.

However, Ashley remained totally convinced that Britney was profoundly in love with her. To me, honestly, it seemed like paranoia. The real-life signals were clear enough: B wasn't interested. However, in Facebook, with all the ambiguity involved, it was so easy for her to see evidence that supported her views.

BTW, if I said anything to her, such as "Hmmm maybe this friend of hers was just writing this because he wanted to", she would go into a rage, cease talking to me and say that I was being unsupportive and careless, that I wasn't a true friend, and she would humiliate me and be a dick to me for hours or even days. I absolutely COULDN'T by any chance suggest that it might all just be in her mind. This is not an exaggeration: She literally cannot conceive a reality in which she is not desired.

So here's my first question: Is this normal behavior or was my friend being literally paranoid?

THE LETDOWN

The relationship never came to fruition. She was rejected one time too many, and stopped trying. She was completely heartbroken. (And she partially blames me because I was doubtful of it all, and "Didn't support her")

Long story short, now she's doing the same with ANOTHER GIRL!!! She swears she's totally in love with her, and sending messages to her. She makes me give long arguments in favor of this. The difference is this other girl ("Chris") probably doesn't even know she exists!!! And my friend Ashley is so adamant that I don't know whether It's me being such a pessimist or her being totally paranoid.

"ASHLEY" GOES TOTALLY BONKERS

Now I'm attempting to have a new relationship of my own, with this girl "Danielle". It's working :) The difference, according to me, is that I actually *talk* to her in messenger and she's friendly. My friend Ashley is supportive about this.

So now she believes that she helps me while I didn't help her. She says I wasn't a good friend, and says "What if I was doing the same to you now, huh?". She is making me grovel and beg for her forgiveness. She literally said "Lick the floor for this opportunity I'm giving you." I have to be totally submissive (And happy about it) while she humiliates me and treats me like dirt. All this because I didn't believe that B was sending her messages. I put up with it because she's my best friend, but she was really trying my patience and dignity.

The last straw was today. We were working and having some coffee. I was complying with all her ridiculous little rules. I asked her a question and she ignored me. I insisted, and she got a little mad. I insisted a little more that she respected me, and she stood up and left. I'm used to that, so I said 'bye!' and let her go.

She took my blackberry and left. I was like 'hey!'. I quickly grabbed my stuff and followed her. Do you know what she did? She went to the park and...

SHE THREW MY NEW $400 $%&! BLACKBERRY INTO THE #$%&# FOOT-DEEP FOUNTAIN!!!

ARGHHHHH

It's lost forever. I'm furious. I'm also sick and tired. But most of all, I'm worried about my dear friend. This behavior looks seri

Answer 1

Though i took some time to read it all, i noticed that she was in fact delusional. Stay away from your friend; she is a toxic person.

Answer 2

Hahaha. That's not paranoid. Paranoid is like making a big deal out of nothing, and worrying about everything obsessively. You have like a 6th sense or something. And going to a doctor wouldn't really do anything for that, besides why is having this a bad thing? Actually, you're being paranoid about this situation. You need not worry so much. It's fine to be like this!

Answer 3

You should probably sit her down and explain this whole thing to her. When I dated my best friend Leah (we met in 6th grade and dated until 9th when I was afraid of letting people know I was lesbian), she thought it was perfect and I was the paranoid one, afraid she was seeing other girls behind my back and the constant threat of people finding out. I broke it with her two years ago in the ninth grade, and I won't have her back because she's with boys now, and it hurt, because she's suicidal and paranoid now. Just before 10th grade was over, I caught her in the bathroom when she was sobbing about relationship problems, I poured my heart out to her. I told her everything that had been wrong in our relationship. In the last two of hers. And she still considers me her girlfriend, but it helped to talk. And if Ashley doesn't get it, maybe she isn't the good friend, dear. Maybe she's just too full of herself.

Answer 4

This is not normal behavior. I hate to say it but Ashley is dillusional. She is in her own little world. She needs help somehow, but you'll have to find a way in which to communicate with her in a way that she could possibly understand.

Answer 5

Communicate my ***. Stay away from her - she's bat**** crazy. Sounds like there's nothing about her to like, so just cut her off. She's manipulative and delusional. You cannot reason with a person like this, and it sounds like she does nothing but make you miserable. Why do you want to be around her anyway?