What's going on with me?

Question

Hi, I'm typing right now still wide awake at 12:47 my time and just wondered what my deal is. I have a rather interesting life to some, i guess. My dad was never really there for me when I needed him he was either working or he was unemployed. My mom always mistreated him badly when he was unemployed, not to mention, her hatred towards online poker (which he does really well at). So realized I never really had a father figure. My mom has a HUGE temper and a nasty habit of repeating herself over and over again. She yells really loud. Now don't get me wrong I deserve to get a good lecture every now and again, it's very depressing. Now at school, I'm everything everybody wants me to be. For some reason,I have learned how to switch from one social group to another social group. Whether it be the fighters, jocks, preps, emos, nerds, average kids, angry kids, or the people who make music their life. I also unfortunately have the nasty ability to sound extremely convincing when I lie. Now a few weeks ago my parents got divorced and for some reason I seemed to not care. Not to mention I had one of my friends, Bob, (i'm not gonna use actual names) who started punching my arms every time I disappointed him. Now Bob has some serious depression problems and it's been badly effected by the recent betrayal, heartbreak, and the gay rumor that has spread around the school. Now I'm sure you wonder why I don't hit him back, that's becase he is very strong and big. I play football too. I'm pretty good, but because of various reasons I wasn't able to go to a few of the most important practices for football. So now I have to put up with people telling me I suck at football and that I should quit or call me a wuss. Now I'm not going to commit suicide or anything because I don't see the point in using a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I'm also a very intellient person, the only problem is, I always do the work but I never turn it in. Why? I do not know. I've always been that way. But I just wanted to know if there's anybody out there who can understand me. Someone who feels empty like I do. I'm not an emo kid, I'm a happy person (sometimes). But questions like these always keep me up at night. I find myself staring at the ceiling then I usually just wait for the moment my mom wakes me up to go to school, only I'm aready awake. Is there any kind of problem with me? please be nice

Answer 1

there s really nothing wrong with you i have had a similar life like you do the difference is both my parents were absent as i grew up and by the time everything got back to normal i moved to states alone to study. but i know exactly how you feel and my advice to you is be wise this could be a very though time for you and i have been exactly where you stand today keep good company for people like us with such a situation we have to mature in a young age. you are about to go through many experiences and meet new and odd people use your experience as your tool. as far as your sleeping problem is concerned the only way you can solve that is if you tire your self if that doesnt work then do what i use to do as a kid i think since they were my worst days i would just sleep through them since when you sleep time goes by really fast for you this was the only way i found to speed up time to get rid of those days. keep your self busy, keep thinking at all times about one thing or the other this will help you learn what you feel in you heart for example when you get angry there is a moment when you can feel that rage in your chest that is when you start thinking real fast and say ok im getting mad now. learn about yourself and think practically before making a decision do what is need to be done not what you wish to do. and help others your experience and the gift of telling stories (lying) is of great use. you can easily stand in anyones shoes and tell them exactly what they are going through but again tell them the right thing for them to do as well. I wish i could help you out through your tough days but if you want to ever talk to me my e-mail is [e-mail]. what ever i just told you is just of the top and may sound useless but my life became my greatest treasure and has led me to do a degree in psychology. again you have my e-mail if you or anyone who reads this think i can help them which im sure i can do no hesitate to e-mail me i check my mail daily.

Answer 2

Why you, I oughta! ...okay, I'll be nice. So you run and ride? That's awesome. I'll tell you what, don't ever give up sports. Even if, in the future, you aren't on any team, continue to run and ride your bike. These two things will always make you feel better. Running does it for me. I started running 3.5 years ago and now I run compettitively and I'm at the top of my division (age group). Before running, I had been becoming increasingly more depressed. Running has saved my life. So that's my main message to you, keep up the running and biking. You sound pretty level-headed for a guy who is experiencing some tough times like you have. That's a good sign. Keep good friends around you, that's key. Don't worry about what anyone else might be saying or thinking about you, it's 100% not important. Next time "Bob" punches you, look at him with a straight face and say "if you want to remain friends, don't punch me anymore". If he does it again, walk away and don't talk to him for a few days. That way, he will know you are serious. It's not okay that he punches you. The simple solution to your homework problem is, just get in the habit of turning it in.

Anyway, good luck with everything. Life is tough sometimes but it's the tough times that helps you build character and become smarter. I know, weird, huh?

Answer 3

You are under a great deal of stress and you don't have an outlet for your anger, disappointment and sense of betrayal which is brought on to kids of divorcing parents. No doubt you feel somewhat emotionally abandoned.

First know that your reaction is normal. Who wouldn't have some confusion and pain when they aren't getting their needs met by their parents? You need a solution so you can move on and not blame yourself, your parents or anyone else and to relieve the pain you are feeling. Obviously you are not feeling a whole lot of trust in adults due to the behavior of your parents. It is important to find at least one adult who will be supportive of you and with whom you can talk freely, about how you feel. Someone who is healthy minded and will form a trusting relationship with you. It might be a Pastor, coach or counselor or a friend's mom or dad, but you do need someone who backs you (so to speak)

Doing the work and not turning it in shouts of several emotions going on. You might feel like "Who cares anyway?" or it might be the only sense of power you have right now. Keeping your work gives you the power to withhold much like your parents are withholding from you.

Then again it could be an entirely different reason. You know the answer inside of you, better than I do. The feeling of wanting to disappear leads me to believe that you already have a sense of invisibility where your parents are concerned or that life is so painful running seems like a worthy idea. You arent stuck, though it feels like it for a kid who is still under parental authority. You can choose to act out and screw up your life in ways beyond what your parents are doing OR you can begin to advocate for having a good life inspite of the tragedy of divorce. You can do that by getting the help you need, ie: going to the school counselor or someone you can trust, start turning in your work (the person most important in caring is you) and by doing things that give you an outlet and create fun times for you such as staying on the football team, take up an interest in music, art or just joining an activity you like. I find whenever I feel sort of useless, hopeless or like no one cares, helping others is a great esteem booster. Get acquainted with an elderly person and become their friend. Many old people are lonely and forgotten. Join a church or synagog or mosque. Volunteer as a camp counselor etc. Take charge of your life in a good way and life will expand for you beyond the sorrow and disappointments. God bless you and please know that I care. You may E-mail to me if you wish and just need to talk .

Answer 4

i wouldn't call that interesting. you need someone to fill the void of your parents. you are acting out and it's going to effect you. how do you stay on the football team if you don't turn in your work? doesn't it make you fail which causes probation? i don't blame you for not caring about the divorce because it sounds like it's better for you now. but you cannot set yourself aside. you have to work hard of else you won't get anywhere. you need someone to call and talk to to help you fall asleep. as for the guy who hits you if you can endure that power to ya but it adds to your frustration. wouldn't you like to reward yourself with great grades and a scholarship? you need to get a grip on yourself and conquer not be conquered.

Answer 5

WOW THATS DEEP!

IM NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY! I MEAN I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL BUT IM NOT SURE IF I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR IT! AND I LIKE HOW YOU SAID "I don't see the point in using a permanent solution to a temporary problem."



HMMMM........