Why do people get accused of being either positive or negative?

Question

I get accused of being negative all the time even though I find it impossible to be either at any one time as rationally I find it really depends on what it is, as I'm not negative toward people or new experiences unless someone has been really rude to me or I don't like the idea of something for whatever reason. But I do sometimes have a bad day where I just think my world is about to end and I don't feel like being happy but I find it completely baffles me why some people are so quick to put you into one of these two categories. For me I find that most people I know or meet are both depending on their day, what mood they are in and weather they feel well in themselves and I wouldn't even use the terms positive or negative for me its optimistic or doubtful.
I'm starting to resent people who so freely use these terms and write people off this way. It does not seem like something intelligent fair minded rational people should do we should have sense to know this is not true of anyone all the time and its not fair to class someone as being negative especially when they've had such an appalling time. Its almost as if they expect people who are sad because something bad has happened, not to impose their sadness as it may bring them down which I find utterly senseless and cold.
My dad told these terms are used in mind manipulation and brainwashing techniques. Especially in sales and life coaching. Telling people to be positive when they have doubt and complimenting them when they have been positive is a sales techniques and to class someone as negative when they don't agree with you is a sure way to manipulate someone and bring them around to your way of thinking.
I don't know what do you think? Where does all this nonsense come from? Maybe the consumerism of our time is teaching people to be positive and to be more open to advertising.

Answer 1

I agree, human emotions and experiences are intricate and complicated, you cant just group them into black and white catagories like "negative" and "positive". (Ever seen Donnie Darko? That one scene where he flips out at his teacher for trying to group everything into "love" and "hate", basically the same idea.) To call someone "negative" is to completely disregard their opinions and emotions, and actually, the same is true for calling someone "positive". It's ignorant and shallow minded. Isn't everyone a mix of both good and bad aspects? Don't we all have both negative and positive feelings in us? And aren't there a whole range of ideas and feelings that are neither negative nor positive, or simultaneously negative and positive?



The consumerism thing is an interesting question. I probably sound paranoid, but I believe you should never take anything at face value - people say "question authority", but i think you should question everything. Which is exactly what companies want you to not do, they want you to be dumb and happy and buy their crap because the dumb happy people in the commercial bought it too. Personally, i'd choose to stay smart and depressed any day.

Answer 2

I completely agree. It's not possible to be 100% happy and smiley all of the time and if you are, you're not expressing your true emotions.



I think that some people are better at hiding their emotions whilst others cannot. These are the people that generally get written off as 'negative' which is unfair on them. I would tend to agree with your dad re the Sales / life coaching comments. There doesn't seem to be a way around it though.

Answer 3

FIRSTLY...

It's interesting if you look at your question.... "Why do people get accused of being either positive or negative?"



I would say people don't get accused of being positive. Think about that for a second the read on...



I would say people don't get accused of being negative either.



The thought-provoking word you've used in your question is 'accused'. This seems to imply there is something wrong with either being positive or negative. In fact, I believe there is nothing wrong with either.



SECONDLY...

If someone 'accused' you of being positive would it get up your nose? or would you feel like you've received a compliment?

At the very least, you are unlikely to be so injured as when someone 'accuses' you of being negative.



THIRDLY...

People often say something other than what they mean... with sometimes terrible consequences.



Compare these two comments

"You are stupid" ~ Implies something definite.

"You are being stupid" ~ Implies something indefinite.

Sadly, too many parents don't realise the difference.



So... an awareness of the use of language is useful.



FOURTHLY...

We all act differently in different situations or relationships. You will probably act differently when you are with your dad compared to when you are with your close friends. And different again when you with your boss/teacher.

The only person who knows all the versions of us is ourselves.

So I'd suggest taking it with a pinch of salt when someone puts you in a +/- box.

You know better.



LASTLY...

I want to share a poem with you. I would say your dad is right about the power of words. But too simplistic if you think that just saying someone is 'being positive' is enough to help them BE positive. Sometimes it takes a few more words to get a message.



If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you’d like to win, but think you can’t, it’s almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost.

Throughout the world we find success begins with a person’s will.

It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are.

You’ve got to think high to rise.

You’ve got to be sure of yourself, before you can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster one.

But sooner or later, the one who wins is the one who Thinks (s)he can.



Personally I think there's a lot of truth in the poem. But that's just my opinion. Others will think it's nonsense. And that's ok too. The difference will be in the actions I take from reading this compared to the person who thinks it's nonsense.

QED



PS. It is your choice to resent people who so freely use these terms and write people off this way. But when you are aware that IT IS your choice. Why choose resentment?

Answer 4

HAHA. Reading your post made me laugh and please do not regard this in terms of mockery because I laugh at the accuracy of your own understanding, at least in the eyes of my own opinion.

There are in fact two roads, two paths, two directions and two ways to look at every situation and every circumstance. We as people have desensitized ourselves in such a way that anything other than happy go lucky is unacceptable. Life is too much of a struggle for people to bother with emotion and feelings anymore and when someone expresses in a way that may as you stated above "impose sadness" more often than not it is typical of weakness and I believe people naturally and instinctively are turned off by this. They say only the strong survive and even in the animal kingdom the smallest and weakest are the first to go if food is needed. This may seem off-track in terms of relevancy but if you consider the way society needs consistency to maintain it is slightly similar to the sacrifice of young and weak or "negative" factors in order for survival. So basically it is more than likely a big social, economical, government conspiracy :p

Answer 5

I agree with you too.



A few points: (1) people like to label others so they can deal with them easily and think that they understand them. (2) You're likely more upfront, than negative, and make your feelings known (to those at least who accuse you of negativity). (3) Some people need to be critical of others, more than normal, a move that gives them a temporary ego boost (I try not to associate too much with such as these).



I think throughout a given day all of us can be both positive and negative, fluctuating back and forth.



I think, too, it's a good idea to work at being more positive than negative, and by that I mean putting a positive interpretation on things, if you can, circumstances permitting.

Answer 6

People judge people on how they react to things. say if you had a really bad day and someone said something to you of you react the 'negative' way, then you get labelled as a 'negative' person. okay, now say the next day someone asked how you were, evenn though you had the worst day ever, yo replied in the 'positive' way, then you get labelled as a positive person, it can really switch between times, you shouldn't worry about it too much.

hope that made sense.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

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Answer 9

You're one of those "glass is half-empty" people, aren't you?





Just messing with you. I don't like manipulative people either. I agree with you, I think it's a mental disease.



Psychologists agree with us, it's called being a sociopath.

Answer 10

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