Question:
Where does self esteem come from ?
2008-12-01 08:10:53 UTC
I've met guys who are super successful in their careers but I can tell they have low self esteem becuz they are not successful in relationships with women. One director of an investment bank complained that he is lonely and he's not very popular.

So I do not think self esteem completely comes from achievements or success.

Does self esteem come from childhood relations with peers ? Are people who were popular as kids better off in life as adults too ?
Four answers:
Professor Dumbledore
2008-12-01 08:20:52 UTC
Self esteem comes from the mind. If one tends to think they are successful, then they have a better chance at it. And if someone thinks that they are not successful, then they shall not be successful. Its all how we think of ourselves in the end.

Even the most popular of people, won't always have happy endings.



hope all is well,

Albus
kathleen p
2008-12-01 16:45:16 UTC
Its very important to have parents with a very healthy self esteem, because they will naturally be a good example to follow....their character and lives will be very complete, happy, well rounded, and balanced in all areas. But when this is not the case (as in most cases, parents are a negative influence) then you will have to find a way to convince your self (truly believe) that you are a very valuable person just like everyone else, no more,no less. And that your value does not depend on external approval, it just depends on your choice to love yourself.
sunny side up
2008-12-01 16:17:56 UTC
I believe that its several factors.

Some inborn.

Some healthy, encouraging upbringing with positive parenting.

Some accepting of the sernity prayer..."to accept the things I cannot change".
2008-12-04 06:45:15 UTC
Being lonely and unpopular is not necessarily a sign of low self-esteem. It is just something he is short on like not having enough to eat. I see self-esteem as having sufficient innersecurity with hope for improvement being what enables a person to feed and build up his innersecurity. If you have those two things you will have adequate self-esteem.



All of us can build up our innersecurity and hope in two ways. First the fleshly way. We all need to remove from our minds the hopeless teachings of fixed intelligences and abilities. We all need to begin looking at how our individual environments do greatly affect our lives and abilities and how we can begin to approach our live more delicately to continually improve our abilities and our lives.



By showing students how their individual environments greatly affect their ability to think, learn, long-term motivation to learn, and grow mentally and emotionally, students will have much more respect and esteem for themselves and for others. By providing students with tools to approach their lives more delicately and differently to continually change and improve their lives, students will then have a continuous hope of developing in time, many if not all of the qualities they admire in others over time. Students will then have a continuous hope of changing and becoming better, newer persons with each passing day. This will reduce much hopelessness, many harmful escapes and other problems created by our horrible teachings of fixed intelligences in school such as dropouts, drug/alcohol abuse, catharsis of violence, and suicide. Learning Theory can be read from my blogs. Graph, Figure, and learning theory will go to all on request.



Second is the spiritual need or hope in something bigger than this old fleshly world we now live in.



I fully understand why many persons believe as they do. I also understand why even those persons professing to believe in God may have misgivings or at least discomfort with the beliefs of their own church and with their fellow believers. I hope the information I will provide will give even the most cynical person a way to see how a loving God would allow wickedness to exist temporarily for a time. I feel given this correct understanding, many who learn this view will come to have a different attitude and will come to have a hope in a loving God. I hope many persons who are putting their faith and hope in this old system will come to put forth just as much energy into something much better, worthwhile and more beneficial for themselves and others. I feel everyone has a choice of living for limited years and suffering in this old system without hope or choose to see and appreciate something very real and much more wonderful for everyone. Please read and learn to have that choice and its hope.



The Bible is like a picture that cannot be seen and appreciated until you look at it from a certain position or understanding. When you look at it from the correct perspective, it can be seen from beginning to end in a complete, beautiful picture that offers a wonderful hope for everyone in a new system of things, even for those who have fallen asleep in death that are to be resurrected soon at the close of this old system. When we can see the picture it presents, we can see how and why the Bible was written, to provide much needed hope for all of us for a new system with no death or suffering. Understanding this view of the scriptures will give many persons a much better way of looking at all of creation: the animals, trees, plants, fish, and humans themselves with much more appreciation and in turn a wonderful hope for all of us and for those who are temporarily asleep in death.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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