Are these signs of Asperger's in my boyfriend?

Question

Hi there, I was wondering if my boyfriend has symptoms of Asperger's or some other autistic disorder. I'm sorry if I come off kind of ignorant/uninformed on this topic. I am just curious if he has it. I read up on it a little bit, and he seems to have some of the traits that were listed. he might not have enough traits to be classified as an Aspie or he might have outgrown them? personally, I think it is rather cool if he does/ did have it...I always thought he was a little different from others, but it's a good thing. he would go to the doctor to get an official diagnosis, but his mom doesn't want him to because she seems a little worried lol. but I don't think she should be worried if he does have it. if anyone here has Asperger's Syndrome and thinks that the following sounds familiar to you, please let me know !

The thing is, he DOESN'T have any problems socializing, he is actually quite outgoing. He doesn't particularly like talking to everyone, but people seem to find him likable. he doesn't have any trouble carrying a conversation.

He is very intelligent, he is 21 and is a computer science student. He REALLY loves programming, I think he can program for 24 hours a day and not get tired of it. It's definitely a subject that he's constantly talking about. if one of his programs doesn't work, he'll stay up all night just to make sure that it works properly. He doesn't sleep very well and he loves waking up early in the morning.

He always has to be thinking about something. He is constantly looking for patterns in everything. Whatever it is, you name it - he'll try to find a pattern in it. He notices many small details that other people don't. He is also obsessed with numbers and dates. So much that one time he had a nightmare about numbers attacking him. LOL. He is also extremely good at memorization.

As a child, he would get really angry if he saw other kids doing things like colouring outside the lines. He has always been a little obsessed about making things straight and neat. He says he doesn't remember too well, but he thinks that he didn't really get along with many of his peers when he was young. he didn't like other kids if they weren't doing things in a neat and organized manner like he was. He's kind of still the same way, but much less extreme. You could definitely call him a perfectionist.

He is extremely routine in everything he does. He likes doing things the same way over and over again. I'm more of a spontaneous and a "go-with-the-flow" type of person, which is hard for him to get used to. I rely on him rather than my own watch, because he always has everything planned out, down to the last minute and he doesn't like it when there are abrupt changes in his daily schedule. He just cannot be spontaneous, he can't do things like dance spontaneously - he needs to know the steps beforehand, he can't just get into the groove.

He sometimes comes off kind of arrogant, even sometimes I think he is being arrogant towards me. but he says he would never try to be arrogant towards me on purpose. He sometimes finds jokes funny that other people don't and he can go on and on about a topic that he really enjoys. he doesn't seem to care if other people don't find it interesting as he does, or maybe he doesn't notice, lol. He can be insensitive to other people, but sometimes he does this on purpose, not accidentally. lol. But he definitely doesn't have a problem connecting with me and we have a very good relationship, and he doesn't have any problem being affectionate.

He tells me that he likes to collect information about specific categories that he finds interesting... I don't remember what they were at the moment, but he definitely likes to collect a lot of information on a few specific things.

he also makes sure he eats in a very specific order. For example he will eat the noodles or rice first, then the vegetables, and the meat last. He always eats this way and can't eat any differently.

He takes things that people say very literally, he's not very good at understanding certain song lyrics or the meanings behind them. He prefers to listen to classical because they don't have "nonsensical lyrics in thme" as he says, as opposed to rock which I listen to more often. He doesn't understand lyrics by The Tragically Hip, lol. It could also be that he wasn't born here and that English is his second language. but he's rather good at English, he'll only make a few grammar mistakes when he hands in a paper, for example.

I'm thinking that he might just be an extremely intelligent guy who has a little bit of OCD. Don't worry I don't need to categorize him with a specific disorder, I'm just curious and find all of this interesting. again I'm sorry if I sounded uninformed/ignorant!

Answer 1

Yes.

Answer 2

My daughters' father has a slight case of Asperger's syndrome. He is sociable when he wants to be, but he won't go out of his way to meet people.

He, too, is into computers and numbers and patterns. One time we had an argument and his friend told him to bring me chocolate. He brought me a Hershey's candy bar. So he didn't understand what his friend meant and it perplexed me so much that I laughed.

Anyway, I don't think the eating thing is ocd, as a common Asperger's/Autism symptom is doing the same thing everyday in the same routine. Have you ever watched 'Rainman' with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise? It's a very extreme case but also very accurate.

The one thing I worry about is that my daughter might have Asperger's because my mother's family has the gene and his family has the gene. If two people with the gene have a child it makes the child 50% more prone to the condition. My daughter does display a need for lining things up in rows and she loves computers, she's also a bit of a Tomboy, but she is very empathetic and caring and is very sociable. Perhaps she got the best of both worlds!

Asperger's is not the worst thing that your boyfriend could suffer from. As long as it's not hurting you or your relationship directly, then there's no problem really. Is there?

Answer 3

It does sound he has it. And he seems really cool XD