Why do I feel so old?

Question

Out of nowhere land an old fashioned form of cruelty has been resurrected. Over the last month two people I work with have each referred to me as being "square." Yes the signing was included in this public description. These women are ages 23 and 27, this immature behavior astonishes me. Being that I am myself 23 years of age, I feel that I should be able to understand the people of my generation. Unfortunately this isn't the case and therefore I am publicly labeled as a square.

The only part of this situation that I find troubling isn't the fact that other people find me uncool. Rather it is that I feel so old... I am 23, married to the man of my dreams, and we have a son together. All of my friends are in there 40s and 50s. I haven't had the easiest life by no means and perhaps that made me grow up quicker than others.

Why do you suppose I feel so old? Logically I know I'm practically a child.

Answer 1

the lifestyle you chose. you have a child and a family that makes you more of a grown up.



I don;t think Ill be getting one of those for 8-10 years.

I'm 21



That does not mean you can't still have fun though! you can still be sexy and cool.. it all depends on teh way you handle yourself. (the way you dress and act around people)



anyway, you shouldn't care what others say about you .. you're happy. they're probably jealous, you know.. deep down every girl wants what you have.



;D

Answer 2

Don't worry.



When you are 46, you will realise you have actually stuck at age eighteen in your head. Albeit a very sensible 18 year old. By that time, being properly 'old' is a very imminent reality, and you will start to look for ways to recapture your youth, and getting mightily depressed when you can't - and realise that you didn't actually feel as old as you thought you did at 23.



Square isn't a bad thing. It's a nice, solid, happy, comfortable shape that people tend to be slightly jealous of. You have the man of your dreams, you have a (probably) beautiful child. Your circular friends probably wish they had your solid sides so they could settle....and be as content as you are in your skin, instead of constantly being on the move.



You are not 'old'. You are just not immature, or naive.

Answer 3

While being more mature or stable is a good thing, feeling old isn't. When you feel old and that feeling troubles you, it implies that you feel like you are missing out on something. But what?



Nobody can say that one type of behaviour or personality is better for a given age, it's all relative. We each need to determine what makes us happy, regardless of what the norm is.



I'm 10 years older than you but I wouldn't want to be 23 again. I was there already, and now I'm living other things. If I felt old, it would imply that would want to be younger -- and that I would have missed out on something or felt like I had. I think this is what you need to look at.

Answer 4

You may have "settled in" to a way of life by getting married, having a child, and having a job. This makes you middle class, at least, and perhaps Republican to boot! (Har har)



Your friends who call you square may be single, or childless. They may be liberal in their thinking. They may think their way-of-life is "cool" compared to yours.



Do you have a generally conservative outlook on life: political, religious, social? Do your statements give you away abut topics like alcohol? drugs? smoking? Sex? Do you speak for McCain and against Clinton or Obama during lunch or coffee breaks? Do you say anything about the current war in Iraq and Afghanistan that sounds conservative to their "coolness"?



I can barely remember when I was 23. My own kids (in their early 40s) probably can't remember when they were 23! They are all square. When I was 23 I took part in civil rights activities and demonstrations against the Viet Nam war. Is this the sort of thing you would see yourself doing? If not...square!



Why do you feel old, at 23? Maybe you're tired...being married and have a child and working can all tire you out. And if your friends are 40s-50s, that gives you the perspective of people older than you are, with what goes with people of that age: bodies breaking down, mid-life crises, problems specific to people their age but not yours, etc.



I would also ask: Since 23 is a fact, yet you "feel" old, what do you get out of feeling older than you are? (All human behavior is aimed at results or pay-offs in the future. What is the result you expect by thinking of yourself as older than you are?



I'm 70, but still feel like I'm 17 inside. You may want to try developing a different attitude (thinking yourself into a different way of seeing yourself) and getting some friends your own age who have viewpoints and enthusiasms of people your age.

Answer 5

I know that I started to feel old by the time that I was 16 but I'd been through a lot by that time, I'd had four surgeries, been molested once and raped once, I'd lost 2 brother's to death and I'd been diagnosed with depression, I'd dealt with more than most people. That's why I felt old, I'd already experienced a lot more than a lot of people. I think that you're experiencing the same type of experince. Your life experiences make you older mentally than most young people your age.

Answer 6

You have been through alot more than almost anyone your age, and that coupled of being out of your teens will make you feel old....I know personally I have been going through an early 20's crisis (im 21) and have been panicing about getting old, buying wrinkle cream (just in case I get wrinkles) and joined a gym and whatever....at least with you, you are less shallow than me, you are stable now, and you are married and have a child, and should feel proud of what you accomplished....you are not old...

Answer 7

Logically, you know you are a child, that you're young.



But mentally, seeing as you wrote that you 'haven't had an easy life by any means, and perhaps it made me grow up quicker than others.' I believe you answered your own question. It's that you feel older than them, because they are playing around, like a child, whereas you have had to mature, and be an adult for most of your life.

Answer 8

I think you been giving too much attention at your friends. I'm 31 and i don't feel old at all, my friends are like 50's and 60's and they are all cool, yes i have friend around my age and i still have the same fun. Nobody can change you, just you and if you feel fine the way you are, thats what is important, next time if somebody call you square tell them...Ahh thanks i know im fun....like Times Square...:P

Answer 9

age is relative to life experience, and our perspective - i also have my own beliefs about the involvement of pre- and post life memory retention, but i have also always been old, since i was very small - some do not retain the same amount of experience as they leave an old or transfer to a new body, therefore causing them to be younger in a sense outside chronology.

just imho :)

Answer 10

you experience what!? you're youthful. in case you experience uncomfortable going to 18-20 objective golf equipment, as a results of music, the way human beings gown and so on., discover bars or different golf equipment and human beings closer on your age! As we are turning out to be previous (which potential adulthood) we alter the way we expect of additionally you be attentive to. and additionally we can't and need no longer to gown with large mini skirts, as a results of fact we've adventure of the end result, be attentive to what fits as suited, wore those issues before 7 years and not might desire to anymore if we don't go with to. ;)

Answer 11

All I can say is that our feelings can be change. You can feel young if you want to. Anything outside of us which we have no control need not influence us by creating the inner experience that we want. We have no power if we react our power is to reverse the word react to create. Just create the feelings that you want to experience. Play the role of an actress and create your own drama.

Answer 12

you are not old. you are very young. you are smart & educated. i am sure most of you dreams has came true by now. you have a wonderful family. you have everthing most people would love to have. you have married the man of your dreams. you know how hard that is to find. and your pic looks for attractive and sexy.



they are jealous. especailly at work there is a lot of jealousy.

they are jealous at your work ethic, family and looks.

Answer 13

I didn't understand your question but I feel if u r 23 then u r not old. u r young.

Answer 14

every one wants to grow up but when they do they want to be a kid aguain its normal

Answer 15

your true self is timeless and ageless.