Me and my girlfriend were discussing the future when we would live together and I was shocked when I realized what she expected. She wanted to live near her mom. Okay, That's fine. No Problem. But her dad lives in the Bronx and she wants to go to see him every weekend and I don't mean like go pop in and say hi. I mean like go Friday night and come back late Sunday night. And everyday after work she would go over to her moms. I'm almost 23 and she's 20. The projected time would be a few years from now. I was really taken back by that and red flags went up and I have learned to listen to these flags, go with my heart, and not try to drown them out. Anyway, I asked her when we would have any time together. We're trying to plan out our life and I'm not liking this one bit. It isn't how I had things in mind. Mind you, I understand life doesn't always work out how you planned it to but you do try to plan it out. I told her I won't take her from her family but two people in a relationship are supposed to be life partners. I told her I felt like I'd never be able to have her fully. We'd come home from work during the week exhausted and she'd go over to her moms, maybe later we'd watch some tv together and then on the weekend she goes to her dads. I said, "well maybe that's not so bad, I could always do some traveling on the weekends cause I like to travel, although I'd rather travel WITH you, or I can try finding local activities to do". Then she tells me she doesn't like that cause she thinks I'll find somebody else. And I'm like, "well babe, what do ya want, I'm supposed to just sit at home twiddling my thumbs?". I won't cheat and that's not the subject at hand so please, no side input on that. But it's like she doesn't understand how that makes me feel. I explained it to her in the reverse and said what if she lived with me right next door to my moms and I was always over there and vise versa and then on the weekends I leave her there alone and go far away to spend the weekend with my dad. "Wouldn't you feel kinda sad and lonely?", I asked. She still sleeps with her mom in her bed as of current. I try not to judge and I just thought it was kind of cute and I would sleep in her room since it is vacant but I'm really beginning to think she is really psychologically dependent, if that's the right term, on her parents. Kinda like the little kid not wanting to let go of the blanket or the baby birds not wanting to leave the nest. We came to kind of a dead stop with the IMs as it became apparent that we had 2 very opposite ideas of how we pictured our lives. She told me that she can't change that she's close to her family and I told her that I won't ask her to change that. I'm not a bad guy and I'm not controlling or anything but I wanna be in a relationship, not have 1/3 custody. I told her it would be like I'm a roommate and the thought of that made me really sad. An adult is supposed to live their life and not be stuck in the nest. Certain animals and my mother have been known to get a little aggressive and make friction to get their young to move on and mature. I kind of feel like if I was even a parent that I would feel guilty having my kid feel like they needed to see me every weekend. Give me a call, we'll do lunch sometime, go on and live your life, I'd say. Am I wrong in thinking this? I mean, how many people have a nice healthy relationship where you NEVER SEE EACH OTHER?