How does a "bad" man become a good person?

Question

This is a true story of a man:
Born into a poor home.
Beaten by his drunk father.
Ignored by his drug addict mother.
Molested by an older man.
Dropped out of high school at 16.
Got into drugs and alcohol at 18.
Gets arrested at 18 for drug possesion.
Gets arrested again for drunken disorderly conduct at 20.
Get arrested again for shoplifting.
Get arrested again for DUI.
Get arrested again for breaking and entering, burglary.
Quit drinking and drugs at age 24.
Fell into deep depression.
Now spends most of his days contemplating suicide and feeling guilt and remorse about how bad his life has turned out.

Unemployed, lost, and confused, at age 25.
How can this person change his life around and better himself? Or is he just too "damaged"?

Answer 1

until he decides to get his head out of his as*s and that there is a better life out there if he just goes after it, he's going to be stuck where he is....i had a similar, but not exactly the same, background and was given up for dead or jail, just a matter of time......i saw that i was better than that, made a plan and now i manage one of the largest air cargo operations on the east coast and have been a huge success....nobody is too far gone to get their life together, but THEY have to make the decision to change....nobody else can do it for them.....



born into a rich home

pushed to hard to be what was "accepted" and "respectable" and not what he wanted to be

got into drinking at 14

into drugs big time at 15

dropped out of high school at 17 3 months from graduation

married at 17

1 kid at 18

one kid at 19

divorced and heavily addicted at 20

unemployed at 20

arrested for possesion at 21

unemployed again at 21

homeless at 22

unemployed again at 23

finally quit the drugs at 24

got into adult ed and got high school diploma at 26

got into college at 27

got a entry level cargo job at 28

now General Manager and six figure salary



nobody is ever too damaged to get it together and move forward it just takes some of us awhile to do it. if he had the head on his shoulders to quit the drugs and drinking, then he can do it too....but the bigger thing is realizing that it didn't take overnight to get there, and digging out of a hole like that takes years. it's the ones of us who can stick it out and not let it get to us that we are the cause of our mistakes that seperate the men from the boys as it were....best of luck to him....and you.....just be there to support him and help him make a plan, but the ultimate decision of what he does and if he sticks to it is his.....

Answer 2

Nobody is 100% "bad" and 0% "good".

To begin with:

#1. this man has never been a dedicated and effective bad guy. He would have been arrested less , had he been it;

#2. this man has been off drugs and alcohol for months, maybe a year. He lives without the joy and soothing of addictive substances & without an adventurous lifestyle, probably in a low income situation. I call this a heroic feat.

Even being depressed etcetera he is doing well. He probably needs transition time like that.

Nobody or only few people change over night from an addicted and criminal life style to a happy and productive life without struggle.

He now needs to do the next step. A stepping stone could be pride and confidence about what he has accomplished already. And in this new phase he could use the many skills and attitudes he obviously has (otherwise he couldn't have stayed sober).

He may even have a friend or two who can encourage him to make a better use of the energy he now spends on feeling sorry about his past.

Help him to ask himself every single day: What smaller or bigger step can I take today to improve my situation now?

He could make a "tough love contract" with a friend: allow a friend to check what one has done effectively during one's days. Take small steps into account. Work from there.

Answer 3

Very thorny difficulty this: i think of trans-gendering basically highlights the certainty that genetically we are all initially woman (a organic and organic certainty - the sperm might substitute a woman ovum right into a male, or not because of the fact the case may be) and that it rather is the reason intercourse/gender is a quite malleable component. we've chanced on that even actual organs including breasts may be made greater or much less "female" with hormones. ((Very a laugh certainly to work out the anti-feminists expressing a one hundred% feminist perception: that "gender is a social build". formerly this perception, anybody regular that "biology is destiny" and that girls human beings had to settle for his or her "biologically dictated" social place.))

Answer 4

I would tell him to join AA.

Its how a couple million people in the same boat fixed their lives up.

Just because he stopped using in the last year or so doesn't mean he has gotten rid of the " -ism" [hint: its never a wasm"]

He needs to talk to people who have been exactly where he has been - only they will be able to speak the same language and show him the way out of his hole.



Just my suggestion.

Answer 5

A good support system

therpist

meds tons



I'm on lexapro and abien I was like him 10mths ago.



pray alot.