I'm 19 and dead inside. Is my life truly fixable or is suicide the only answer?

Question

I've only ever had 4 friends, but we were all very close. We all knew each other since we were 3 years old. They all abandoned me when I was 14 and I never even got the privilege of knowing the reasons why for most of them. At least my best friend gave me a reason, even if the reason was that "I was only good for the cool stuff I had". Ever since that day I've become a bit of a misanthropist, cynical about everyone and everything, and have become disconnected from reality. Why should I aspire, or dream? Everything is pointless. Over time I feel more and more suicidal. I have no capacity for emotion anymore, whatever controls that in a normal person is completely dead in me. I am pretty much a walking zombie, or drone. Life is a chore. I went to a psychiatrist once, but nothing ever became of it. I experience nothing but negativity all the time. Most of the time I wish I don't wake up from my sleep. My family does not seem to care. I don't want to get a job or interact with people anymore because they make me sick.

Can I fix my life or is death really truly sweet bliss?

Answer 1

Suicide is never the answer!



If you want a different life then begin with a plan it's all up to you. Maybe you should start by seeing a doctor - there may be a medical cause for the way you feel.



Never define yourself in any way by what others think of you - it's what you think about yourself that matters. Nothing is pointless. You have the power to change and have the courage to ask for help.

Answer 2

Personally I don't think it is the place to express your negativity towards 'life, however it may feel comforting to you, so fair enough. In your words, yes your life can be "fixed". But you shouldn't look at your life being "broken".

You said you went to a psychiatrist "once", I would suggest that you go back and carry it on for a stretched period of time, you can only find a difference start to appear over a certain period of time. Also you have to believe that the psychiatrist can help you for your subconscious to allow yourself to be helped.

Your family "does not seem to care"? Have you tried talking to them about it? Just straight out telling them how you feel and what's on your mind. Not just expecting them to take hints?

Also with the "pretty much a walking zombie" thing - I believe that life is what you make it. I believe that you (saying you in a general sense, not you personally) are not owed anything from life itself. You should take it all for yourself. Do something yourself. Yes, I understand your negativity, but is there something you really enjoy? If so then go somewhere there are groups of people who enjoy the same thing.

You shouldn't feel restricted and passive, because life is far from that and it is up to you to make yourself happy and make changes happen to make yourself a lot happier. Obviously I don't know what these changes are and for you it can be extremely difficult to figure out what as well, which is why I suggest going back to the psychiatrist. Or even a local councellor and your college/university.

Answer 3

When you resist suffering, you suffer more. It is only when you accept suffering as a part of life that you can transcend it.



I've been to hell and back several time in the last 5 years. The minute I gave up the notion that I shouldn't have to suffer, I stopped suffering. Why should you not suffer? Everyone suffers at some point in their lives...EVERYONE. Everyone will also eventually die. Life never promised to be easy or fair.



"There are two things that one must get used to or one will find life unendurable: the damages of time and injustices of men." –Nicolas Chamfort



I felt dead inside after my first heartbreak. I didn't know if I was coming or going, I lost a lot of weight, then I gained a lot of weight. Several years afterwards, I saw beauty in it because I learned so much...it was worth it.



People don't become wise from a happy, smooth life. They acquire wisdom from their pains, mistakes and sorrows.



"If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change." – John A. Simone, Sr.



"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is the problem."

–Theodore Rubin



"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors." –African proverb



"We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t." –Frank A. Clark

Answer 4

Wow... that is exactly how I feel.

Anyway, i'm really sorry that you feel like that, i know how you feel. im the exact same way. But it will be okay. I think you need to talk to someone about your problems, a psychologist or therapist. Just because the psychiatrist didn't work for you, doesn't mean a therapist won't. Just please try it, and try going on anti-depressants.



Surround yourself with positive things. Be optimistic. Do things that you love, start a new hobby, go interesting fun places, watch movies, cook, do fun creative things that can bring the interest and excitement back in your life. I know how hard this can be, sense your obviously depressed, it can be difficult to enjoy anything in life really, yet to have enough motivation to do things. But you must try, please.



You're not alone. Everything will be okay. Just take it one day at a time.

Talk to someone

go on anti-depressants

do fun things

Try making new friends, i'm sure you can. You seem very nice.

You should do things that make you feel empowered. And inspirational quotes can also be very helpful. Self-help books as well. I suggest putting quotes around your house and tell them to yourself everyday.



You will eventually begin having a new, positive outlook on life. Do you have no one in your life that you can confide in? No one your close to?



You have to trust me, it will be okay. Just try the advice I have given you. If your going to end up killing yourself anyway... what have you got to lose? Just try. Please.



Good luck, life is worth living.

Answer 5

Suicide is never an option. Ever. Period. No matter how screwed over your life is, taking your own life (or anyone else's for that matter) is not the way out.



When you're young, everything seems like the end of the world. When your friends left you I imagine you felt like a basic foundation of your life was ripped away from you. That doesn't mean you should give up on your life, all of humanity, and all the potential you still have.



There's always an ear somewhere that's waiting to listen to what you have to say, but you have to look for it. Happiness and a way out of depression isn't going to be handed to you on a silver platter. But it's out there. There's always hope.

Answer 6

gross at all the jesus bullshit that everyone is giving you. screw that.

i was suicidal for many years of my life and was eventually sent to residential treatment from ages 13-18. A huge part of my life has been spent with psychiatrists and group therapy and rules but you know what, I'm alive because of it and as much hell that I went through with depression, I can honestly say that I am glad I stuck through it and there's NO WAY in hell you'd hear me saying that a couple of years ago. You need to understand that you cannot do it alone. You just can't. Please try to find a useful therapist (There isn't that many good ones out there but they are there!!) and maybe discuss medications. It sucks being on them, but it sounds like you could have a chemical imbalance.



it's going to be hard finding life once you've given up one.

Answer 7

U said it can i fix MY LIFE

its your life and u should Create what u like in it

as long as u still waiting for others to make u happy u will never feel happy

be your own best friend and don't feel cynical about anything its not worth it people come and go u learn u grow the world is not a shiny cookie consider it as an experience

why do u want to be friends with people who abounded you from the first place?

be your self and be happy and save your self because no one will

life is short to waste it on people who doesn't share your pain feelings etc..............

u still have your whole life ahead of u don't waste it are those people who caused u to be depressed are thinking about u ???NO ....so dont be sad more than 5 minutes on anyone who doesnt care about you move on gl

Answer 8

Yes, your life is truly fixable if you rely on the right source. You are NOT vanity- your purpose for being on earth isn't about getting things, pleasing people, money, etc. You're meant to flourish, increase, multiply- this ability and permission comes only from God, who wants a relationship with people. NOT religion. Your purpose is to reflect His character is every (right) thing you do or say.



Concerning goals, ask teachers, neighbors, other students, etc, about the positive things they've seen in you, that you may have overlooked. Stay away from negative influences. Try volunteering to help those worse off than you; if you have two hands and feet that work, eyes that see, ears that hear, be thankful. Count your blessings. At least you have a family. If you don't use and appreciate what you have, you may lose them. An idle mind leads to poverty and you'll regret it later, so get busy.



Learn to say "No" when you feel people try to use you selfishly. Tell them how you feel and choose friends wisely.



Be responsible for your own reaction to mistreatment. Otherwise, why are you interacting online with people if they make you sick?



I was miserable years ago, after I realized I wasn't cut out to be an artist. No friends either. After college graduation. I wasted many years in aimlessness and failure, until I recognized that life isn't about us. Through a relationship with Jesus, He has promoted me unexpectedly, and audibly told me of His future plans for my life. Put God first, and He can open doors for you that seemed impossible. He'll lead you to the right friends if you ask. He made you for Himself.



God has no favorites, and knows all about you, your future and potential. He promises to never abandon those who live for Him. Call on Him and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you'll be saved from the wrong direction. Start the relationship now - pray the following:



"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I'll live for you. Guide me in the best path toward a meaningful life. Thank you, Lord for saving me and giving me a future and hope. Amen."



If you meant what you prayed, welcome to God's family! Now stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily, starting with St. John. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching church and tell others how Jesus made a difference in your life.

Answer 9

I feel you, i got the same problem but not that bad.

for 1, suicide is never going to do anything, you got 1 life thats it, u dont know whats going to happen after, and also commiting suicide brings you straight to hell. u wont goto heaven thats a fact ur throwing away what god gave you. get ur self a hobby, even if u dont have friends at least u can keep ur self occupied. if ur still living with ur parents, u havnt even started ur life yet. wait till u move out things will get brighter, tougher but deffinatly brighter. set ur self a goal or sumfin. visit another country, maybe u need a change in life style, just dont give up, life if short and preciuos

Answer 10

To be honest, your reason as to why you feel so dead inside is a bit silly.

Instead of dwelling on the friends who left you 5 years ago, realize "Hey! Screw Them!". Go out, make new friends who share common interests as you and START LIVING! Suicide is never the answer, never ever. Everyone feels low sometimes, but they pick themselves back up. Try to be positive and take it from there.



Life is too precious and beautiful and awkwardly perfect to simply throw away. When you feel like you're at your lowest point, there's only one place to go...up! It's a scientific fact :)



Best of luck to you, friend. May you find happiness. God bless.

xoxo

Answer 11

Hey, please don't pick suicide, there is no point, you can fix life, lay back on your bed, take a deep breath, think about something you can live for for example.



live for you crush

live for your dream

live for you gf



never pick suicide, there is always a way out, you just have to think and trigger the lever that opens the door



Wear cool clothes and be a warm and kind person to everyone! help them out when they need help and only help them when you know it's the right thing to do.



eventually you'll make alot of friends and some of them may even be very close!



good luck! i know you can fix your life! ill pray for you!

Answer 12

Take up some kind of sport, like going to a gym or playing tennis/squash or something. Exercise makes you feel great and increases confidence, so it's good for your mind and body. Plus you can interact with people as much or little as you like but youl'l get used to being around people.



It's not the answer, but it'll probably help.

Answer 13

Your life is, indeed, fixable!



Jesus has been where you are. He, too, was abandoned by his friends on the worst (and best) day of his life (his crucifixion). He feels your pain and longs to release you from it.



Depression is a VERY TREATABLE condition. Psychotherapy + medication, time and again, has proven to be the BEST and most reliable option.



Plug in to faith. Get yourself some treatment. Do those two things, and your life WILL be "fixed".



Hang in there,

~Dr. B.~

Answer 14

I felt the same way since I was a young teenager and now I'm 30 years old and at times still feel the same way.



But then I became Christian and things got easier - I had somethin else to focus on and rejeuvenate my soul so-to-speak.



I'm not saying you need to be Christian but I'm saying maybe finding the right religion for you is key.

Answer 15

Everything is fixable. You probably already know that. Let me tell you something you may already know too, your life won't change if you don't do anything. No amount of moping will give you grief.



A good place to start is a job

Answer 16

Suicide is not the answer, it is the cowards way out. I know I have had friends and a uncle to do it. Just think what is coming next, maybe something that has never been seen before and yes it is the next moment.

With death what comes next, it maybe worse than it is now.

Answer 17

dont pick suicide it wont prove anything except that you didnt try and if you try it will stop it just takes a little time try opening up and talking to people sooner or later someone will like you for your personality not what you have

Answer 18

I LOVE YOU JOSHUA, LIFE JUST FEELS LOUSY RIGHT NOW, BUT HANG IN THERE BUDDY, YOUR A FRESH NEW ADULT AND YOU HAVE A FULL LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.. WAIT UNTILL YOU MEET SOME HOT CHICKS... IT WILL BE FUN.. YOU WILL FIND A JOB EVENTUALLY AND YOULL GET A PAYCHECK AND MEET SOME NEW FRIENDS.. BELIVE ME MAN, YOUR GOING TO MEET ALOT OF COOL PEOPLE SOONER THEN YOU THINK.. RIGHT NOW, YOU FEEL LEFT OUT.. ITS ONLY TEMPORARY JOSH..

Answer 19

No problems here on earth are worth ending your life for. Problems are temporary even if they have lasted for a while. You being gone would not benefit anyone, sometiems when we are sad that is what we think but it is not true. Think about the person you love and care about most and think you'd feel if they gave up their life. All these people that love you will always be wondering what was hurting you, wondering what they could have done better. They will think its there fault. Your parents, siblings, friends, family, LOVE YOU. And so do so many people you don't even realize.





Trust me you don't want to give up on this life especially since your so young. You only have one life, don't give it up yet when it has so many chances to get better. You may feel like everything is falling down upon you but sometimes the hardships in life we face only make us stronger. Everytime we preservere through lifes harder challenges we get stronger. Please keep on preservering.



If you ever need to talk God is always listening. I know sometimes, especially when things feel like there breaking apart, its hard to believe in God but know He's there. He loves you. But sometiems bad things have to happen in this life because without them we woundn't know how to feel happy. We need the emotion of sadness so we can feel the emotion of joy.



You have a connection to God like a telephone. He's there waiting for you to call 24/7 and best of all it's free of charge. You can talk for hours and hours and hours and it won't cost a thing it will only help you. Sometimes though, God won't always help us in the way we ask but in the way He seems best for us, and sometimes that just giving us strength to face the difficuties in our life.



God has a plan for all of us. And sometimes putting difficult things in our path is his way of shapping our paths. I like to think that we all have ropes connected to our wrists. Invisible of course. And these ropes reach all the way to Heaven to God's hands. If we steer to far away from God the ropes snape. If we have faith, and pray the rope won't break and the rope will always stay close with God. I believe God trys to pull us back when we drift off, sometimes He will send signs and messages. And then we're brought back towards God. But then there are also times when our ropes get tangeled, and our lives seem so stuck and theres no way out, and theres no way to untangle them. But there is. If we keep walking on the Lord's path the ropes will stregnthen out.



So don't give up. Give this life a chance. So many people you don't even realize care about you. They love you and will be wretched with you gone. I care about you and so do all the other people who replied to this question, to convince you that you'll be missing out and that this life will get better. You get this one life, just live it. It may not always go perfect but thats okay. It's better to live this one life even with its regretts than to lose it and never give it the chance to get better.





Remember how Jesus was divine and although He was divine He fell while carrying the cross. Falling down doesn't mean we're weak, it means we're human. Not getting up is what makes us weak, so continue trying your hardest to keep walking. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.



I always like this song because if you listen to it (whether you thirteen or not) it tells the story of a person who really is going through a tough time but then things did get better and she wishes she could go back and tell herself it would be okay-----and it will. Things will get better



ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLMVdZC-…



And this song always seems to give me strength. Keep standing----



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yB24M7…







I love you and am praying for you, now and forever



Amen







givesmehope.com



http://www.wowzone.com/fprints.htm





You know, going to church, (even if you haven't been in a while) relaxes me while hearing the word of the Lord and recieving the Body of Christ. You could also try volunteering at your church and getting to know the church community, they'll always be supportive and you might make some great friends.

Answer 20

you can FIX YOUR LIFE only when you start changing your attitude!! and wear cool clothing like Adidas!! and run a town like Thugs!! what i'm talkin about!

Answer 21

Just live your life, make something out of it. Or die like a coward.

Answer 22

You can fix your life.

Answer 23

there is no happiness when you die.