HELP MAJOR PROBLEM RESPONSES APPRECIATED?

Question

SO MY PARENTS FRIEND HAS OFFERED ME A DEAL I CAN NOT PASS UP. SHE WANTS US TO DEBATE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS. IF SHE CONVINCES ME TO BECOME A PROGRESSIVE THEN SHE WILL BUY ME A 64 GIG IPAD AND IF I CONVINCE HER TO BEOME A DEMOCRAT SHE WILL BUY ME THE SAME IPAD!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I ARGUE AND IF HER RESPONSES ARE CLEVER (COMMON ARGUEMENTS MADE BY DEMOCRATS) THEN HOW DO I RESPOND WHAT CAN I SAY TO CONVINCE HER!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Politics section

Answer 2

Please, get a new keyboard, for it seems that you made the mistake of hitting the Caps Lock key and it has stuck, making it impossible to get off of caps lock. Just remember this: polo is Latin for many and tics are blood sucking creatures.

Answer 3

well either way you'll still get that ipad, so just play along