I just feel like giving up on life?

Question

I just feel like giving up. I'm 17 and I've always tried so hard in school, taking the ib program to make my parents happy. My parents hate each other, yet they have stayed together for the past 20 years. Every single week they have a huge argument, usually ending up with them calling the police or until someone starts crying. My whole life I have never seen my parents get along, my dad usually degrading my mom as much as possible. It hurts so much that they can say such abusive things toward each other. This was when I was little. Things have escalated so much more now. Now my older sister is an exact copy of my dad, not caring about anyone but herself and it kills me seeing her like that. She will come home, screaming and swearing at my mom saying that she didn't make food when there is food ready on the table. Then my dad finds that the perfect opportunity to yell at my mom too. When I try to intervene in the argument, things only get worse. I know what you guys arenthinking, my mom should divorce. She says she will but she wants to find a job first. She has been saying this for as long as I can remember but it never happens. Also my dad has always been extremely controlling of everyone in my family. He expects everyone to obey him and if they don't, then they can get the hell out of his house as he would say. He always threatens he will kick us out, yet he won't even let my siblings go to another city for school. He took all their money they saved up so now they depend on him. Honestly I can keep going on and on about what he has done but it will take up too much room. I can't move out, my dad won't let me and it's out of the question. I just need some ways to cope with him because I can't deal with all this stress anymore. My dad treats me like **** one day and he is ok the next day. This is making me seriously depressed and I'm not the type of person who can express their feelings with others. I just feel like giving up since everytime I try to be happy and make my family happy, my dad will start an argument and ruin everything. I need advice I mean I have never felt this empty and degree of depression ever. This is also contributed becaue I tried to tell my dad how I feel and he ended up yelling at me and telling me all my faults.

Answer 1

well, look at it from your dad's perspective. he is obviously insecure. that's what makes people controlling. he loves you, but doesn't know how to express it. that's why he goes to such great lengths to control what you do. he's trying to keep you close, but i don't think he realizes he's suffocating you. however, that doesn't make him a good person. it just makes him easier to understand. he doesn't sound like he's going to change, either. he's alot like my stepdad. push your mom more for a job. do what you can to help her. and as far as coping goes, find an outlet. write poetry, maybe a story, some music. i don't know. something. draw. but don't give up. that sucks. that would be letting your dad win.

Answer 2

Shane, you are in an abusive and volatile situation. Do not give up on life!!! Good news from your other question--your parents are divorcing. Make sure you end up living with your mom.



Meanwhile, be gone from the house as much as you can, studying in the library and working to save up money for college and moving out of the house next year if necessary. Work on an financial plan to be self-supporting and not dependent on your father, both short-term with a job and long-term with a career. Between school and working, you should be too busy to hardly ever be around your abuser until your parents divorce. Don't do any drugs--do nothing to ruin your present motivation nor prospects in school and the job market in the future.



P.S. Richard above gave you excellent advice.

Answer 3

The only solution is to get as far away from your family as fast as you can for as long as you can. Do not look back and do not feel guilty for leaving them. Guilt and fear is how emotionally abusive people maintain power over you and manipulate you. The reason you feel terrible is because you are being abused by your dad. Every abused person feels like you do: hopeless, guilty, scared, unable to take action, etc.



Learn about abuse and you will realize how bad the situation you are in is. It is real. Making a plan to get out will empower you and you will start to feel better. Get all the help from non-family members you can.



Make a decision to never accept an abusive person in your life even if they are family.

You can do it!

Answer 4

Don't do weed, That's stupid and unattractive.

You've got one more year, then you're an adult and you can move out. I suggest that for the time being, see your school councilor. Adults, especially those trained to deal with situations like this, can help you best. I understand you can't talk about your feelings, so maybe email your councilor first and give him/her the same explanation you gave us. You deserve better. I'm sorry for the misfortune. Best of luck!

Answer 5

The only resolve in your scenario is action, this is the truth in sound logic. You're 17 years of age, you're almost 18 years old, an adult. It is then you and your Mother should leave, perhaps you can go with her and set up home and live with her in her new life.



Honestly, I appreciate your frustration of those who say the blunt ''have her divorce your dad'', but really - it is the ONLY way.

Answer 6

2pac once said The Hate you give little kids ***** everyone

I think that your dad treats you like **** cause hes got a **** load of hate in him so he takes it out on you guys. If you hate you teach others to hate. Dont worry when your dad told u ur fault we are all human we all make mistakes he aint perfect. Maybe your dad was treated badly when he was growing up? you aint alone

Answer 7

sigh......look, you're 17, almost ready to graduate from high school, right??? That means after high school you can go to college somewhere else, away from home. And if not, you can get a job and move out!



So why would you kill yourself when getting away from your evil parents is possible??????????? Make realistic short and long term plans, make steps that you need to do to reach those short term goals. Plan, organize, prepare and then do it.

Answer 8

Weed usually cures all of this. But when not on drugs, you should probably visit your counselor and then work really hard to get into college so you can go away.