When certain things remind you of a trauma how do you not repress anger?

Question

I have just started avoiding contact with people. I am going to go to therapy but wanted to hear how you deal with this or what you know about it....Specifically, people who have been trough certain things such as a loved one dying from drugs, suicide, 911, anything is constantly be reminded of it...I have worked through allot of these things but now I think I am physically holding my anger...I have lost a son so when a person says " do you have children?" I am fine. I have my answer ready. But my body is showing me these situations are killing me...is it possible to be healthy after having such an intense trauma. How can I stop repressing how I really feel without becoming a hermit or just being angry at the world?

Answer 1

In time it will release, you can't just "let it out" consciously like someone said. Repression is a subconscious process and suppression in a conscious process.



Talking with someone, especially a therapist will slowly allow you to access the repressed feelings. After traumatic events it is very normal to repress, as this is a defence mechanism, which allows you to cope in the short to medium term without having to deal with the trauma.



The mind can't handle too much emotional distress in one go, hence why it is stored, and bizarrely as you know it can manifest itself physically. This is akin to somatization disorder.



It is good to release the anger in a safe environment, say with a therapist. The reason a therapist is so good to release it with is that they can help you deal with it, and they won't judge. It is very normal to be angry after experiencing the loss of someone, especially a son.



In time it will release, just try not to push the emotions back down when they surface, as this can cause more pain in the long run. Just get used to feeling difficult emotions without panicking, I have learned to do this with practise.



I start off by naturally bracing and wanting to repress / suppress the emotion, but I catch myself doing it, and I often go and lie down and relax in bed, and then slowly let the emotions to release, by just allowing myself to feel them without fighting them. They then release much quicker.



I found this part of your question interesting "How can I stop repressing how I really feel without becoming a hermit or just being angry at the world?" You are implying that you want to stop being angry, but ironically wanting to stop this anger IS suppression. So don't try and force yourself in to a "better" state, as in reality it will be short lived. REAL healing is allowing yourself to "be", i.e. just let yourself feel whatever you're feeling without fighting. I'm not saying it's easy, or always possible in some settings, but I would recommend doing this.



A lot of depression is repressed / suppressed emotions.



I hope your road to recovery gets a little easier each day, week etc.

Answer 2

1st of all you need to give yourself time and permision to heal...it can not be forced...I have learned from trauma in my life that you must change the way you look at it...be grateful for the lessons learned...and in the case of another being, the time you had with them...becoming a hermit may be what you need right now to reflect and learn...I am decidedly less social than I used to be not sure if it is result of past traumas,advancing age,or selfishness...But I no longer feel the need to always put others before myself and do not feel I need to meet as many social obligations as I once did...solitary time if used to reflect and learn is a good thing...it is bad if you are using it to hide or run away from your problems...so do your best top learn from your trauma and then let it go...release it to the universe and go on...Celebrate your son's life,the things he taught you, and be thankful for what time you had with him...Each day will get a little easier till only the good remains.

Answer 3

Try writing in a journal. Also painting can be very helpful. You must release the pain, and there are healthy ways to release pain and unhealthy ways:) Go for walks where you meditate on the happy times in your life. Make yourself relive the happy times verses the unhappy times. Do positive meditation at least fifteen minutes a day:) Prayer helps me too!

Answer 4

I havent had much trauma like 911 in my life, even though im from NY. I was very lucky. But certain things remind me of certain people ive lost over the yrs, and when i just get so depressed i could cry, I hit the gym, pound the punching bag and lift weights. Going to the gym just allows the world to melt away from 3 hours while i sweat my a$$ off. Try it, i t really helps.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you lost your son. Try a support group for awhile. I did when my ex lost her daughter of which I helped raise.



It helped some. You know when your getting better when one day you look at everybody in the support group and say, "Boy, these people are depressing!"



I'm on yahoo answers a lot and notice you are too. I wonder if it is a form of escape by keeping you preoccupied like me.



If that's true, try getting preoccupied in a healthier manner by taking on activities outside of the house. While on the computer try getting preoccupied with things that interest you by surfing on Stumble Upon.com.

Answer 6

How do I NOT repress it? Like, Uh, I like, let it out, like.

Answer 7

sometimes you can't. maybe I can help you. [e-mail] (aim or email). I have helped many now I am advertising my service. free, confidential, and i don't ask any info. try me out I might be able to help you out. or just speak to someone