Has anyone ever felt this way?

Question

This is really difficult to explain but I'll do my best. Sometimes I get this feeling I don't really understand. I look at things weird. It's like, I'll look at everything around me and accept it's there, and then all of a sudden I just really KNOW it's there, it just hits me. I can almost feel things on me but at the same time they're so far away. It's really hard to put into words cause there's no words for it that really explains the feeling. It's like I just suddenly become conscious of EVERYTHING but at the same time it all seems so fake. It's the same feeling with open space, I just really notice it and can almost feel it, but at the same time it's so unreal and distant. Sometimes I think it's because I got so into the idea that everything is relative to everything else, and I couldn't relate existence to anything, but I think that's just me giving it any answer that sounds right.
There are a few things it could be related to. I always think about weird things like certainty and knowledge, things like, what's real. I think about how I can never know anything EVER. I try to comprehend infinity or nothingness and it just scares me but I do it anyway and i can't stop. I think about a lot and most of it I can't put into words, but it's pretty much all just metaphysics and epistemology. I used to be able to stick to one idea, but now I doubt everything and I'm constantly proving and disproving things in my head and sometimes I think of things that really confuse or scare me and I get these panic attack where I just can't stop shaking and all my muscles tense up to the point where it's difficult to walk cause it just feels like I'm flexing.
Something else that might be related is that I always feel like I'm just going through the motions. As long as I can remember everything just seems blurry, I don't mean my vision is blurry, just everything. Like things seem distant. It's like normal would be you with your life sitting right there in front of you, clear and close. But I feel like I'm here and my life is just a little further, things seem distant and blurry, less important, less real. I'll look at things and know that I'm not experiencing THEM, I'm just experiencing my brains interpretation of the signals my senses tell it. I mean everything you perceive is subject to your brain, it has to be. I wish i could truly know or experience another person, but I know I never can and I know they can never know me, and it makes me feel really alone. These thoughts led to me doubting the existence of other people, or at least other consciousness, and i still can't PROVE to myself that other, conscious people exist. I'm just rambling/venting now...
Is there anyone else out there that has any of these problems? Nothing I said is really right, it's just kind of close. I think if someone else wrote this and I read it, I would understand it.
I've been like this for years and I just want the feeling to go away. I'm not sure if the confusing thoughts causes the feeling or not.
Please don't try to convert me to your religion. My doctrine is skepticism, so it's difficult for me to have faith.
Please don't tell me to see a therapist... I'd rather not get misdiagnosed and end up with chemical imbalances I never had, being more confused is on of the worst things I can think of.
Lastly, I'm looking for suggestions, coping methods, etc. I'm not looking for sympathy...
Thanks you for your comments =)

Answer 1

Sounds like you have the mind of a scientist. You need physical proof for everything. You are right though, everything in life is nothing more than the minds interpretation. You do not need to be diagnosed for being curious and analyzing things. I think you have a wonderful gift to see things outside the box. Write your thoughts, keep a journal... see where it takes you! :) Maybe someday you can write a book about the way you see things... People like new ideas.

Answer 2

Pain is a strange thing. Burning a finger or stubbing a toe can hurt all night, but when I shattered my wrist into 20 pieces (bones sticking out), I didn't feel anything at all. I guess I was just into "operation mode," and I realized that pain would be a disability in getting necessary medical help. I do not think the worst physical pain can come close to the mental anguish many of us have suffered. Merry Christmas, and all the best to you and your loved ones. And be careful!

Answer 3

An interesting and enjoyable read!



A few years ago when I was around the ages of 14-16, I had become very intense and I saw things in a different way (a deeper way) than most people seemed to see things. Now, what I thought and felt, was far less intense than what you feel - but I can understand, because I what I thought was similar to what you think.



I remember a feeling. I'll try and describe it to you, although it's hard to put into words, and I have found nobody yet who understands or has had this feeling themselves.



I'm in 'space' - somewhere in the universe - empty. Nothing is around me, and I am also nothing. It's as if my 'soul' is very far away, or no longer attached or within my body. Describing where I am as being 'space' does not sound correct - it's as if I'm not even in space. I'm just nowhere.

Once I had a dream where this feeling was the dream.

I was nowhere again. I was in space - in a classroom. The teacher was taking the register. When my name was called, my answer was "Vagina". I felt the most painful embarrassment (which doesn't even describe what I felt). It was as if my soul was being pulled and pulled from my chest. I woke up with the feeling I had in the dream - my heart screeching with agony and an indescribable humiliation. I was reminded of this dream for weeks, and every time, my heart began to race, as I felt my soul flying high again - I snapped myself back to reality each time - trying to remain present - trying to stay 'human'.

I had felt this feeling before the dream - but this dream was the most intense I'd ever felt it, and it was agonizingly panicking.







I don't really know how 'far away' you are, and I don't know if my advice will be useful to you, as the things that I'll suggest to you will be fairly boring, but maybe they could work...



What I think could help is trying to do all the things you can do that makes people human (alive) and not robots. These things would be creative, personal, beautiful things that you can put all of your energies into.



- Reading

- Writing

- Walking in beautiful places

- Swimming in the ocean

- Feeling things properly with your body (your bare feet on the grass, the sand - the warmth or the cold of the water running through your fingers - the sun on your lower back, slowly moving up to your shoulders and back of your neck)

- Drawing/painting/sculpting

- Taking photographs

- Love

- Dance

- Poetry

- Travel

- Laughter



Maybe some of these things are the things that you need to try and put all of your focus on (maybe not all of your focus).



What you need to realize is that while you're here (on Earth), there is nothing you can do but live, and that while you live, you should be happy, free, and beautiful on the inside.



Perhaps you could do yoga as well, or meditation - not trying to make you believe in anything - just a suggestion!



Hopefully you'll grow out of this, like I have, but please - it's good to 'philosophize' every now and again, but to let these thoughts overtake you and become you isn't good, and while you're here, you'll never know the answer to all of these questions about infinity and what's real or not, so you might as well try to remember 'life' and 'live' again.





Another idea - beauty is everywhere - notice the little mistakes people make - their imperfections that make them human - for example, spelling mistakes - well, that's all I can think of at the moment - and also, what just happened there - I thought I had an idea, which I did, but all I could come up with was 'spelling mistakes' - haven't you ever done something like this?



Just trying to make you live again

Answer 4

If someone told you to picture a tree, do you imagine the tree itself, alone or with the sky above and the ground beneath it? It's all relative to how YOU percieve the world around you. If your mind says, I can see it or smell it or touch it or taste it, then that thing exists in that sense and you should accept it as that. This is just an insecurity that you can overcome if you learn to live with just taking your minds word for it, so to speak. It may be hard or it may be easy. But you can't let yourself dwell on it because it will eat away at you.

Answer 5

well that feeling may be depersonalisation and derealisation due to anxiety,

i used to get these feelings a lot and they come back when ever my anxiety is at the highest.

You should research into that as it may or may not be what you are talking about.

As to your thoughts about nothingness, i think that just means your smart, curious and attentive.

I always think about space and how infinite it is or i think about not trying to think, but then i realise that i can never stop thinking.

Im not a psychiatrist or a doctor, but i think it just means you use your brains lol.

Unless its some sort of autistic trait ? But i wouldnt say so.

Answer 6

It's human curiosity, we can't explain why or how (to some extent) our minds work. I have thought about it too, what if I am the only "real" person and everyone around me are robots or figments of my own conciouness but then that causes the problem of talking to you about it because you are not a real concious person so how would you tell me you are not real? See the problems thinking like that creates? You just become sceptical of everything that you see, just accept life, does it really matter if it is "real" or not because it still feels like it is to us. Maybe we are just in a video game like the sims created by another more inteligent race.



I believe there is a God as our universe is so complex how could it have all happened by chance? Yes we have discovered evolution and chemical reactions and the big bang but we can never see what causes those. I am not trying to convert, It is my person belief based on my expirence, history, and thoughts.



I have conciousness and I have accepted that the other humans around me do too. You are just feeling disalusioned from life, it could be a chemical problem or your brain just works differently, who knows? The only way it is a problem is if you can't stand it.

Answer 7

I used to get like this a lot when I was at my worst anxiety wise. Now that I'm better it is far less often. It's an extreme feeling of unreality but at the same time your senses are heightened and you hear/feel/see everything rather than the ignoring most things like usual. Its freaky, but it's benign. Deep breaths and trying to busy yourself with something specific usually helps. The feelings don't usually last long. Try not to give it any attention, it will make it worse. Good luck to you.