Well people have a threshold. When emotions get above that threshold it can be hard to control one’s self. The key is to know that the threshold changes; sometimes it’s low, and sometimes it gets higher. There are things you can do to increase your threshold so that you can handle more frustration without going past that point. Getting enough sleep, and eating right are two ways to help move it back. Not drinking or doing other things that cause your ‘fuse’ to shorten is also good. It takes time for these to make a big impact, but they can help a lot. Other things you can do are meditate, exercise, listen to calming music. The second step is learning more about yourself so that you can identify when you are almost to that threshold line, but not over it. You may notice that your hands clench up, or that your stomach tightens. If you keep trying to be aware of those things, eventually when you notice your stomach tightening, you can tell yourself that you have to do something to keep you from getting over that edge. That takes time too. It’s okay if it doesn’t happen instantly, just learn a little more each time. Also, certain things/situations may fuel you into getting to that threshold like certain types of music, people, situations, etc. Pay attention to what those things might be that put you in a place to being close to the edge, and try to avoid them. If you feel yourself getting spun up, you have to make yourself spin down. It has inertia, and will spin up past the threshold if you don’t actively do something. I am not talking venting, if you are to that point, you are past the threshold already. But even if you are, it can still help to do things like walking away from the situation or environment that your stress is in. Even if your just in your room, and the room isn’t what is causing your stress, changing the scenery can help; go for a walk and calm down. Getting out your aggression by being destructive only really blows off a little steam, and doesn’t really do much to fix the problem. If you need to get out that energy, try doing pushups, or running down the street. Physical exertion, but not at breaking something, but just using your body is better. Breathing is the best way to rid your body of the fight or flight chemicals. If you take slow deep breaths, your body thinks it is relaxed because that is how it breaths when it is relaxed. It’s not a miracle fix, but it does help a little. You need to do lots of things that help just a little, and the accumulation of those should be enough to bring you back under the threshold. It is going to take time. Stretching out your fuse is more like building a muscle than turning on a light switch. The more you try to work at it even if you fail sometimes, or think it is stupid, the better it will get in the long run. Some other suggestions, if someone is getting in an argument with you, and won’t let you go, say “I am going to take a break, but I’m not avoiding you, I just need some time to cool down, and we can talk about this again when I am in a better place to talk about it.”