Why can't I stick to a diet or motivate myself to improve my life? Am I still depressed?

Question

There are loads of things about my life that I want to change, and I have loads of plans and really want to carry them out and be kind of a new person but I just cannot stick to it. I want to lose a couple of stone, and I know how to do it, like what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat and although I'm currently recovering from an operation and can't do any strenuous exercise for another few weeks, I know what exercise I need to do. I want to lose weight and I want to be thinner.

I also want to "re-invent" myself- not in a massively flamboyant way, more to start to make an improvement on the mess that I am at the moment. I've had depression for years and haven't bothered with myself much, haven't maintained many friendships, have had a crap job for years (which isn't entirely my fault, I've had a long-term illness which because of my sick record has prevented me from either applying elsewhere or moving somewhere else in the company I currently work for). I currently do admin, which is the most boring thing in the world, I'm a creative person and I want a job where I can use my creativity. I actually really like fashion (not in a current trend way, I mean I love putting different clothes together and shopping in weird places), I like that I look better with some make-up on and I know how to do it well, I like messing around changing my hair, and yet I don't bother wearing make-up and I change my hair but get bored with it instead of keeping whatever I've done with it up. I love eating healthy food- I'd much rather have a lovely fresh salad than a packet of ramen noodles but why can't I stick to it?

Every single day I wake up and think, right, it starts today, I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to decide what colour to do my hair etc and I don't do it, I'm going to be more sociable, at the very least update my facebook status which I haven't done for months and months, I'll get back in touch with people, I'll join a writing group but I do nothing, nothing at all, towards any of these things. Ever.

Why can't I motivate myself? Why can't I stick to anything? It's like I'm afraid of actually doing these things- what will people say, will they think I've gone vain overnight, what if I just end up looking and seeming ridiculous? Why am I so keen to stay in the rut I've dug for myself? Why am I so lazy about it all? I know full well nothing will change if I don't make it happen, I want it to happen, and yet I don't do it. I just procrastinate, and think of some lame reason why today isn't the day to do all these things, or even one of these things. I admit that right this minute (i.e today) isn't the best time- I'm still sore and tired from my op, I haven't had any children but my op was a hysterectomy so now I never will and I'm trying to get my head round that, but this op has finally freed me from all the problems and illness I'd got used to over the years (had severe endometriosis) and once I'm back on my feet is the perfect time to make these changes- but this lack of motivation has been going on for years. Is it because of my depression? I've been taking anti-depressants for years and years and I'm seeing a therapist but sometimes I feel so so down still, more so since my op but I think that's pretty normal (it was only 8 days ago).

Does this lack of motivation mean that although on the whole, despite the down days, my depression seems so much better than before, I'm actually still as depressed as I've ever been? Or will I wake up one day soon in a much better frame of mind and something will have changed in me and I'll be able to do the things that I want? Thanks for any answers or suggestions in advance xx

Answer 1

You're on sister!



Let's you and I and anyone else that wishes to join us in this forum go for it!



I suggest we get a free webpage like one of those blogspots and post our dieting and life trials and tribulations on a daily basis to record our progress and coach one another onward to success. If you have a digital camera or a webcam, take one photo each week to show if we are making progress toward our goals are not, and post the pic on the page.



How about it?

Answer 2

Well if that's you in your pic I think your beautiful. But the outside doesn't matter because true beautity is on the inside :) xoxo Don't try to be soneone your not just to get friends. And REAL friends will accept you for who you are. I am a guy in my teenage years and I to am having problems with acne and making friends and stuff like that so I know how you feel. But just remember what I said about TRUE beauty.

Answer 3

you might need to change your medications to correct the chemical imbalance.