who do you let hurt you most: yourself or others?

Question

who hurts you more?
who loves you more?
yourself or others?

and it is me who is my enemy
me who beats me up
me who makes the monsters
me who strips my confidence
(paula cole)

Answer 1

My pain sometimes is just my own, other times it is the pain of others that I have drank in, trying to provide some comfort. Very few strangers can hurt me. When they strike my friends and family- and I am there to witness, they had better look out. But somehow I can not strike back at those who would hurt me, no satisfaction is felt in hurting them, I ache to see others in pain, even the ones who with callous disregard inflicted pain upon my person.



Who loves me more? Well I think the confident response is "I love myself the most." And though I have some surety in my worth, I know, know it is not me who loves me best.

It is the one person in this life who goes out of his way to treat me tenderly, to never ever for one minute say a hurtful thing- even in defense of himself. He aches for me, as I have ached for others, and when I come "home" battle scarred and bleeding, it is he who tends my wounds with angelic care. So tender so sweet so nurturing and yet fiery, intense and blissfully burning electric.

Ah and of course there are dear souls scattered over this planet who have love in their heart for me and I for them.

I got a morning hug from a dear dear friend who shares my coast, and a mid-afternoon kiss on the cheek with a tight squeeze from a beautiful Luna in the southern hemisphere.

They and He, save me from the "little black spots on the sun today" and everyday.

Answer 2

I unfortunately let me, hurt me the most. I've always been very unsure of myself, and find myself saying negative things about something I've said or done, more than I care to admit. I know that this type of behavior is very unhealthy, yet I do it over and over and over again. When I was a kid, I was always the one picked last for whatever reason, and I've yet to forget that feeling. I'm not saying this to get sympathy, only to try to explain my own feelings of unworthiness. I fortunately have many wonderful friends, and family that have encouraged me over the years, and made me realize that I am a good person and worth more than I think I am. I have much more confidence today, than I did 10 years ago, and I'm very thankful for that. Of course, I'm very sensitive to what others say as well, but I think that I'm my own worst enemy by far.

Answer 3

The truth is that nobody can hurt you until you let them. The self negativity we can imagine as sore points all over our body. If someone pokes those sore points we are verified of what we already think of ourselves and it hurts. If we didn't have these buttons nobody could push them. I am using this as an example in an abstract form not concretely. What we think of ourselves is also sometimes verified by others who say the same things. If I called you a pink elephant with purple dots, you would laugh at me because you don't already believe that its true. However, if I said you were stupid, you would be insulted because a part of you could believe that its true. If we change our mindset of what we think of ourselves and learn self love then nothing anybody did to us would ever effect us again.

Answer 4

I don't let myself be offended, so I have no basis to be hurt. I forgive all the monsters of my life so I don't have to carry the hate that only hurts me, so again there is no basis to be hurt. A rather inspired question, hey wait a minute, "patz" I know that from somewhere; ahh the hippie question. That was pretty darn funny dude, you've got a good sense of humour; or at least I think so. My Wife and I howled with laughter, thanks for the sunshine, "Moonbeam"; that's what the Wife renamed you. Ahhahahahahaha, "Moonbeam"; oh God that's so funny Hahahahahha!!

Answer 5

With the lone exception of the broken heart (which by definition can only be inflicted upon me by another), I hurt myself far more than others do. I am my toughest judge, my harshest critic, my sternest taskmaster and my own worst enemy. Not always, mind, but doubtless more often than should be the case. Call it the chief character flaw of a perfectionist living in an imperfect world in which perfection is an impossibility. (Did someone say conundrum? oxymoron? paradox? all of the above?)



Others love me more than I love myself. This likely relates to my first answer. Please understand. I'm not full of self-loathing or anything so desperate and sad as that. I do love myself on some level, but I don't allow myself the luxury of unconditional love. I have to earn my own love, as well as respect. Others in my life are more generous with me in this regard. They kindly overlook my many imperfections and see the Knight I am. They know with certainty that I love them and will do anything for them, and they in turn love me for it. I am eternally grateful to them for this as I would be completely lost without it and them.



I've said enough. I've said too much. (Damn that infernal Patz!)

Answer 6

My first response to this question was no one hurts me, no one is allowed to hurt me. I protect me, my husband protects me (physically, emotionally, spiritually). I stop myself when I begin to say negative things to myself. I do get angry with myself, and I am learning to learn what I needed to learn and then move on.



After that freight train of thoughts passed and I was left in quiet, I had a few more thoughts. I am very sensitive. Things people say, do initially hurt sometimes. I use my rational thought process to explain to my emotional self why and how that was really meant and then my emotional self looks up form tear stained cheeks, says, "oh." and smiles. All this happen within my head--most people would not ever know they'd hurt me.

Answer 7

Well, it is the others, who hurt me indirectly by getting myslef to feel a certain way, like being left out of a group called, the T club,

Answer 8

I am never "hurt" but I am disappointed alot (are they the same thing?)..but I move on..

Noone has loved me as much as I love me and appreciate me..cause noone has taken the time to know me inside and out as I have taken the time to know them. (very disappointing) but I am not "Hurt" by that. I live with it..

Answer 9

I don't life anyone hurt me except myself.

Answer 10

I let otehrs hurt me, but i just ignore it. so i guess in a way i hurt myself too.

Answer 11

I don't let anyone hurt me now i am older.



If they try, they get it back 20x

Answer 12

usually no one. I'm pretty lucky

Answer 13

Others. (yep)