How do I get my thirst for life back?

Question

I don't read, I don't finish projects, I don't tidy nor clean my room, I don't do house chores, I don't life a finger. I'm depressed, running on empty, demotivated and nothing gives my pleasure anymore. I feel hollow, empty, lacking self-identity, I hardly laugh, I'm lost about my self-identity, questioning who I am. All I do is think.
I don't do much with my life - just a 3 day course a week that's patronising - when I look back to when I was revising all the time and writing essays this time two/three years ago for gcse, I don't know how I stomached it. The thought of opening a text book and the academics literally turns my stomach. I get horrible gut sensations.
I've perhaps never written a proper essay for a year and a half. I constantly shirk and do f*ck all. The thought of putting pen to paper seems impossible and an off put; and I've always been a lover of words and writing. It's like I can hardly write anymore and it is my ambition to be a writer.
I am undergoing psychiatric help and am on meds. Life seems so dull and insipid. I don't know whether my laughter and smiles are genuine anymore, my inquisitive mind won't leave me alone and keeps probing me; Intent on knowing who the real me is, whether my laughter and smiling is genuine...Urgh...
Please help!

Answer 1

What you're having now may be emotional numbness.



"Emotional numbness is the inability to feel much of anything. Things that used to make us feel happy or elicit a smile produce a weak response or nothing. Likewise things that should provoke us to anger or even tears result in an apathetic response. It is a lack of emotion where there once was emotion. One of the causes can definitely be depression. I feel that this symptom results from feeling overwhelmed and overburdened by life's challenges to the point where you just can't feel anymore. You are too tired and weary to emote. It can also be a protection against feeling too much as in after a trauma. It can be the process of shock where we simply cannot take in the emotional reality of what is going on. The mind is protecting itself from too much pain."



I was worse two years ago. I felt like there's a huge hole in my chest and was so depressed because I couldn't understand why I was like this. Am I heartless? Am I not capable of love anymore? I never let anyone know and have been faking that I'm happy and all until I told a friend of mine and I thought maybe it's my family problems that cause this. I do know one thing that makes me happy even though it's just a small spark. Chatting and spending time with friends. Sometimes, I force myself to do so because I will feel unmotivated. But, slowly, I feel better although I'm still having difficulties to feel, but it was a great achievement to me.



Read the sites below and try it out. You will never know unless you try. But I highly suggest talking about your problem to someone you trust and spend time with friends or take part in any social situations. Or maybe you could try reading more about emotional numbness to understand how it works, what causes these. In a way, it does help you feel better if you know more about what's going on about you. I hope you can get better soon.

Answer 2

Good evening Sophie.



Here are some of the things that helped me out of a place similar to where you are.



Books! All kinds to, perhaps getting out to your nearist book shop?



Online role play games, these can be very fun, if you ever manage to get a copy of neverwinter nights 2 that's a fun game to play online.



Table top role play games or larp, look it up it might be something that appeals to you.



Write a list of things that suck in your life and what it would take for you to change that, then do it.



Look into clubs where you can meet more people and friends that have the same interests,



Go out for walks, bus rides an explore the world around ya, try and find the type of enviroment that calls to you, you might find your more creative there, for myself, I'm a Sea person :)



Tackle challenges head on, and remember that even in failure you still learn something, you still improve.



I hope this helps.



If not just write up a list of fun things, an do them :)

Answer 3

You need to explore. What you are feeling sounds like extreme boredom and all of your life seems to be thinking about doing things and never actually doing anything.

You should exercise, climb a mountine, join the gym and just enjoy living more. Set yourself targets for coursework and assigments and targets for the month e.g. plan your week.

I felt how your feeling before and I just started going out more and doing things. If your bored and depressed not alot happens.



All the best