Question:
Why do I feel so uncomfortable around children or babies?
2010-10-12 05:32:28 UTC
I am a very self-consious person with anxiety and very low self-esteem. ( As sad as it sounds) I get nervous around kids or children or babies, like I dont like holding babies or playing with kids very much. I love animals, and I am a very loving person, I just wish I liked kids more. I'm recently married and don't want kids for like 10 years. I would like to have kids but bc I do so poorly around them I know I couldnt handle it. I need to resolve this so that I can have a happy family with my husband down the road. I am on the IUD birth control that prevents you from becoming pregnant for up to five years. I know this is weird, but I just wanted to know if anyone else has this problem or how I can overcome it. Thanks.
Five answers:
DK52
2010-10-12 05:51:31 UTC
Not weird or all that uncommon.

You are being addressed by a woman that never wanted children! NEVER! I was also very nervous around babies and children, afraid to hold a baby, didn't know what to say or do with a child.



One day my girlfriend asked me to put a sleeper on her 2 month old baby girl (you know the kind of sleep that zips up from one foot all the way up to the neck). I had a complete anxiety attack attempting to put the babies foot into the foot of the sleeper because I was scared to death I was going to hurt the baby girl.



My friend stopped packing and looked at me and in playful disgust she whipped the baby from me, bent the babies leg (which seemed a little rough to me) and got her baby in that sleeper in seconds. I was 16 years old at the time and about seven months pregnant and after that moment I was seriously considering adoption for I could not see myself being able to handle a baby of my own.



Hon two months down the road I gave birth and mother nature kicked in and I was a mommy. I didn't have care one about whipping my son into a sleeper, giving him baths and all the other things a parent must do to care for their infant. Two more children and years later my motherhood abilities improved greatly without me being any the wiser.



You have a husband to help you and hopefully family and I can almost assure you, those that have some fear of being a parent and or don't really want children due to those fears usually turn out to be the best parents. Go to your best friend (your husband) and tell him of your fears and desire to have a baby. Talk to your doctor, see a psychologist and get an opinion if you would make a good mother. READ! Read everything you can about caring for infants and children and rather than tell yourself you CAN'T tell yourself you CAN, because you can!



Even so Hon, there is no shame whatsoever in knowing that you are not cut out for motherhood. Some of us just weren't meant to be a parent. It is honorable to understand this about oneself and not have children for there is NOTHING worse than having a child and abusing the child in any shape way or form.!



I might suggest if there is one where you live to visit a children's hospital and spend a wee bit of time with the Tots and come to see what beautiful people they are. Go to a local park where children play and watch them. If your friends have children try to befriend them and if you find you have nothing to say and they ask why be honest and explain to the child / children why you are nervous around them. You might find that it will be a child's reply that can shed some light on your issue/s. There is nothing sweeter than the innocence of a child that make the issues us adults harbor silly and light making us realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.



Best of wishes to you and yours!
2016-03-19 03:14:27 UTC
I love kids, have a daughter (5) and a step-daughter (13).l understand what you're saying though. My Mom is not a kid person. She loves me of course though I AM an ONLY child, lol. She adores my daughter but has just recently started babysitting. Don't feel ashamed, not everyone is a kid person. The best way to handle this is to try to avoid situations where there will be children and if you are in a situation where there are a lot of kids, just be yourself. Be polite to the kids but dont initiate play with them. As a parent I can tell you that I would rather someone just be honest than pretend to like my kid. It's ok really.
Alain Suggar
2010-10-12 05:36:58 UTC
Kids are very "in your face". They tend to do things that are irritating, such as staring at you, climbing on you or just hanging around you. If you have self-confidence issues this can be very annoying. If you do have kids of your own however, you will not feel that way about your own kid, it's a completely different thing altogether, you always see your own kids as the most beautiful, perfect thing in the world that can do no wrong (at that young age anyway).
Patrick Scellick
2016-11-23 14:25:24 UTC
i don't like being around kids and babies either just pray to god and he will help you i don't have kids but my brother and my older sister do i have 4 nephews the oldest one is 8 years the youngest one is 4 and i also have 2 babies it gets real stressful for me >:(
lolit
2010-10-12 05:51:09 UTC
YOU ARE JUST ANXIOUS FOR HAVING BABIES .


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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