So what exactly is a suicidal thought?

Question

I know basically what it is. Im having trouble putting this into words though. Lets say youre mad. In your head, "Ugh, I just want to die. I dont want to live anymore. Blehhh. No one wants me here!" Is that one? Or is that just something everyone does when theyre mad?
What if you were thinking what it would be like if you were dead? Or how you would do it, what pills you would use, how many? Reasons not too?

What im basically saying is when someone asks you have you thought about suicide, define: thought!

Like: Have you thought about a cat lately? *Pictures cat in mind.* (One thought)? Or *My cat is Bob, hes two, and orange..* (Another thought)?

So with suicide: Have you thought about suicide lately? Well, I was mad yesterday and wished I was dead. (Is that it? Or do you need more detail to be a suicidal thought) Or Yesterday, I got pissed. I ran to my room and clutched a bottle of ibuprofen. I thought what it would be like to be dead but then the feelings of my familys got to me and I couldnt go through.. (Would that be one?)

I dont want to go to my therapist and say yes I do, if it isnt even a thought. Any examples and answers? Thanks! :)

As for me: When I get mad or depressed, Ill cut myself. Ive had times of sadness where id lay in bed all day and have a bottle of ibuprofen next to me and I would take like 6 or 7 because I wasnt sure if I was truely suicidal and that wouldnt hurt me. My therapist says im not depressed but just emotionless almost? I forget the term she used but basically: *something cool happens! Cool. Whatever. something sad happens! Too bad. Whatever..* Like no feelings?

So if she says im not depressed, these must be just like a phase every teenage girl goes through, and these thoughts will go away? She doesnt know about my cutting. I dont plan on telling her. I really dont like her. She makes me play in sandboxes and playdough.. Im a teen not 7.. Do you know why she makes me do this?

Ps. My moms Schizoaffective. If that has anything to do with it..? Thanks so much:) Anything helps. Just confuzzled here.. lol.

Answer 1

Suicidal thoughts are usually when one perceives it as the only thing they can do; death as the only alternative. Suicide is ranked like this:

1.suicide ideation: thought of engaging in suicide

2.suicide threat: allowing someone else to sense your behavior

3.instrumental suicidal behavioral: accidental damage

4.suicide attempt without injuries: non fatal outcome

5.suicide with injuries: self-inflicted, intention to kill w/ ineffective strategy

6.suicide: clear intention to kill.



Cutters usually have a type of insecure attachment [with parents]. Why do people cut? to leave some feeling; as an escape. We can be secretive when we are negative and that's what cutters are like, and many people that engage in self-injurious behavior do for intrapersonal reasons (secretly). I think that the therapist is making you play with playdough to relieve some distress perhaps? physical tension? it has to do with your urge to cut - she might be aware of this issue even though you might not have told her.

have you always been "emotionless?" if you used to filled with emotion, and suddenly changed or something, then it may be a symptom of something, like depression (which the therapist says not), or if you were always like this, then it may be due to your personality (shaped by your upbringing) which is generally not changeable (one type that describes emotionlessness is Schizoid PD i think..)



If your mother is schizoaffective, note some major risk factors of ppl who become suicide victims:

1.a mood disorder within family

2.conflicts w/ parents

3.some major loss, something that leads to a loss

4.successful suicide within extended family

5.poor problem solving

6.individual withdrawing from social support

6.risk takers, anger mangement problem, substance abuse



things that may protect you:

1.maintaining a social support system

2.maintain a degree of hope

Answer 2

A few years ago, I had terrible suicidal thoughts. I would find no reason for me to live and make several plans of ways to kill myself. I would think that no one's life would change if I died, and that they'd forget about me quickly. I could not find anything worth living for. I have even attempted suicide on countless occasions, but in the end, was too scared to fall through.



People who just offhandedly think, "Oh, I don't want to be alive anymore" and are fine the next day are not really having suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts stay with you for a while.



The fact that you cut, are pretty emotionless, and lay with the ibuprofen (which would most likely not kill you, just make you sick) shows that you should probably get some help.

Answer 3

Having had them myself, this is what I wanted... a quick painless death that will not make a mess and be a lot of trouble for the people that have to clean up, or cause anyone to find me and have nightmares



I'm not sure I should write this here, but this was my thought.



A black bin bag over the head and a bullet through the temple... near a place where people are used to dealing with death, (not going to be specific here)



Strange how the mind works... and this what depression can do.



I assure you this is absolutely true.

Answer 4

A suicidal thought is seriously considering killing yourself. Not "I wish I would die." it's thinking how you could kill yourself, what people would think, and such. For example. "I really hate my life. There's knives right over there that I could just stab myself with and end everything." and not just thinking it but greatly CONSIDERING it. It's hard to describe! Haha :) I don't know what schizoaffective means lol but I'm not sure your therapist is helping... I think you need a new therapist. And when/if you get a new therapist, you need to tell her/him about the cutting. I understand you don't want to but sweetie trust me it is EXTREMELY important that you do! Cutting yourself COULD lead to serious thoughts of suicide. So please consider.