Question:
How come I ended up with no friends, single & depressed?
Trishanku
2015-09-21 03:53:46 UTC
Even my earliest memory has very little of any happy moments of friendships. My school days were a little better since I loved cricket & was okay with peers. College & afterwards.. began this long spell of emotional isolation.. now i'm 31, never dated worst part is I have jeopardized my career & have become a hikkikomori os sorts.. utterly depressed & miserble. Sorry for too much ****..

Why did I become my own enemy? It's like my whole body is decaying although I am still alive..
Three answers:
Zol
2015-09-21 04:10:30 UTC
Maybe you have trouble socialising. I do, a bit, well OK, quite a lot actually. You may be introvert, you may be shy, or you may have a mild form of autism, mild aspergers for instance. Autism (of which aspergers is the milder 'top end') is what's known as a spectrum condition: you can have a lot of it or just a little of it, or even just bits of it. I often think of the condition as being like a wedge, & here's me at the thin end, definitely a bit odd but able to fit into society, work, run a home etc, while at the other end are people who really can't cope & often get institutionalised, or stay with parents for ever. Yes, I'm single too.



So if that's the case maybe you're someone for whom friendship won't just happen. I'm like that too. So maybe your friendship needs to be activity based. That means maybe you need to join things & have the activity as the thing that brings you & other potential friends together, & any talk being incidental to that activity. You say this worked while at school because you had the activity of cricket, which brought you into contact with people of similar interest. You don't say you're in any clubs/organisations now, though, which may be why, if you're not a socialite & extrovert, that you've not met any people to become friends, or to meet women. And if you're usually alone & looking miserable & fed up & cross that may also be putting people off.



The aspergers thing is a lot to get your head round, but the internet is great for looking it up & seeing how many of the conditions you identify with. It doesn't really help deal with the condition, except when other sufferers tell you how they coped, & you realise their ideas may help you too.



So I just suggest you go out & join activities. Then you'll have company & will be seen with people. You may even meet a lady friend too - especially if you join something that attracts women too.
Tai
2015-09-21 04:07:55 UTC
You've lost your passion, you need to go out and find it again. The only way we find happiness is doing the things we love, not for others, but for yourself. People may say things and tell you otherwise, but at the end of the day, you're your own worst enemy. The only person that's making you sad is yourself Only you can change the outcome of tomorrow. You may feel alone, beaten, depressed and worthless, but the only way left to go is up. You're only 31, how many people can start anew like you do? Take this as an opportunity to create a new chapter in your life. As cliché as it sounds, you're actually lucky. Not many people can start with a blank slate, free of chains and perceptions. Go and take that chance to make your life colourful!
jas
2015-09-21 07:09:03 UTC
Pray to God and he will help you I promise that my life changed because God helped me through depression! God loves you and he doesnt want to see you sad! The devil wants you to feel bad about yourself but God gives you hope about the future! Whenever I;m feeling down I listen to these singers!

Casting Crowns

Kari Jobe

Newsboys

Matthew West

For king and Country:)


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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