Question:
I suffer from major performance anxiety. HELP?
James M
2011-10-19 13:42:07 UTC
I suffer from major performance anxiety. HELP?
I am a young male and suffer from MAJOR performance anxiety. Every time my girlfriend and I are about to have sex I lose my erection. When she blows me it's fine but as soon as it comes to penetration I go soft. People have told me to relax. I have tried that but it doesn't work. I have tried getting a little drunk, yeah that worked out greaaaaaat.

Basically I need a solution to this ******* bullshit fast. I'm not self concious about my size, have a fairly above average length and my girlfriend is satisfied with the length. I am just so stressed out and nervous. I am not gay also. I have thought about Viagra but I just turned 18 last week and being young I don't think I should. Please I am literally desperate. I can tell my girlfriend is sick and tired at the amount of head she gives me and I hardly have anything to show for it in return other than fingering her. So please I need advice that will work guaranteed.

I know that my problem isn't physical. When I am watching porn by myself I have a large, strong healthy erection. But it's the opposite when I am about to have sex. Any help is much appreciated.
Four answers:
redsox89
2011-10-19 19:32:57 UTC
I recently overcame this myself so hopefully what worked for me can help you.



You need to talk to your girlfriend and have her understand it is not her fault. Just ease your way into it, rub your member on the outside of her vagina, as long as she understands you may take a while to get down to business, and that she can't get defensive or it will make it worse, things should go fine.



I had a bad experience and ever since then I was so scared to go through with sex that I had major anxiety issues. You just need to remember that it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD. The second you start thinking about going soft you will. Instead take deep breaths and create an environment where you are totally comfortable. Get naked with your girlfriend and play around for a while and let her know that you will make the move towards sex when you're ready, and that she shouldn't pressure you.



Also, stop watching porn. I stopped watching porn for about 6 months and I found it way easier to get hard. Porn gives you an unrealistic approach to sex because they make it look so easy, when it's not such a simple process. Just cut out all the bullshit and get down to being close with your girlfriend.



Bottom line. Stop watching porn, masturbate less, talk with your girlfriend and take it slow. I hope this works out for you because I know from experience how embarassing and frightening it is not to be able to perform. Good luck!
Audrey
2016-05-20 01:25:26 UTC
I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway



Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?
rimoldi
2016-09-11 02:59:28 UTC
A guy who prefers self pride and pornography over truly intimacy with an wonderful spouse is sending messages, and the ones messages would quite simply be misinterpreted. It could be effortless to expect he is handling realistic efficiency anxiousness, an dependancy to pornography, or that he is simply too egocentric and lazy to perform collectively pleasing intimate courting with you. But, finally, there may be obviously an underlying purpose. His obstacle possibly regarding self esteem, or deficient self worth - feeling as although he lacks beauty or the stamina to satisfy your sexual demands. His obstacle would also be regarding emotions of anger or frustration he has closer to you, and he is expressing it in a passive-competitive process by means of withholding intimacy. The primary factor you'll do is inspire your husband to accompany you in searching for certified marital counseling. And either one of you are going to ought to have an open brain. It's foremost to search explanations for the issues, and no longer consciousness on assessing blame. I desire you the very excellent.
?
2016-02-16 11:56:25 UTC
Unfortunately, many of the drugs on the market today that are designed to treat various conditions, have side effects that include the degradation of male sexual performance. The most common of these are blood pressure medications, but there are many others.



The good news is that in many cases, there are often (but not always) alternatives to the meds with these side effects. Learn here https://tr.im/tzLjS



If that’s the case, your doctor can prescribe you an alternative to help alleviate the problem.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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